Thursday, December 22, 2011

Weighty Issues

Ever since I left home at 18, I've always been conscious about my family's comments about my weight when I come home. Invariably, there would be some acknowledgement of weight loss or gain...."Do you REALLY think you need another brownie?" "You look like you need a burger." My entire family has always been fixated on physicality and I am dreading an inevitable, "You look so HEALTHY! Read: FAT."

Being off the medication definitely makes me more aware of food, think about food, and perhaps obsess about food more than I have in years. It's been hard to drop this weight-- really hard. I realize how important it is to do it the "natural" way, but my boobs feel huge and for the first time in my life, I feel like (I HAVE) a GUT!!! When I went to get my hair done yesterday, Zavia said, "Look at you girl, so muscular!" I look like a freaking linebacker.

I haven't been on a scale in a week-- I just couldn't bear seeing those numbers. That isn't necessarily making me less vigilant in my workouts and diet, but I figure I'll get on the scale AFTER Christmas. It was making me obsess about the numbers.

I just need to keep believing in the method. And believing in ME, for that matter.

Friday, December 16, 2011

no scale, no worries....

I decided to stop getting on the scale every morning. It was giving me some major anxiety. The good news is, I feel like I've adopted a much better attitude about the whole weight loss/get in shape mantra. I have been so fixated on the numbers and the weight, that I think it's bad for my head and (my ass!) Reading Bethenny Frankel's book has re-enlightened my view that listening to your body is the most important (and most missed) part of most diet plans. Fixating on what you CAN'T eat, SHOULDN'T eat, and NEED to eat, just automatically sabotages the best intentions. I remember at my fittest, thinnest and most TAM fabulous, I was just eating what I craved in regular (unpiggy) portions-- and letting my workouts actually, well, WORK. The method works if you work it. I have been proof of that. I will get on the scale again, but not for a few days. I think I'm getting smaller everywhere (and tighter). Cardio every day-- no MS yesterday or today, but back tomorrow. I realize I'm not going to make excuses for not working out-- I'm too committed to the program now, to just simply NOT workout like I did all summer. Now, I'm going to re-focus on how it makes me feel (still LOVE DC '08!) and the body will follow!


Sunday, December 11, 2011

New Plan for Diet

Day 1: 171.8
Day 2: 170.4
Day 3: 169.4
Day 4: 167.2
Day 5: 164.8
Day 6: 167.7
Day 7: 165.7
Day 8: 164.7
Day 9: 164.4
Day 10: 166.0
Day 12: 164.4

So, still down 7.4 pounds, but had a bad day today--- ate too many chocolate chips and even snarfed down some french fries. Gross. No workout all weekend because I was suffering from major cyst pain yesterday-- and today, I was just a lazy ass. Must workout before coffee because it makes me too full and my peepee train goes choo choo too much! I'm going to try this diet for the next few days combined with one hour of TA cardio and Perfect Design:

Breakfast: Protein Shake or Egg Whites

AM Snack: 3 oz canned tuna, chicken, hard boiled egg or 10 almonds

Lunch: 6 oz chicken, turkey or fish with a half plate of low starch veggies (spinach or broccoli)

Midday Snack: 3 oz canned tuna, chicken, hard boiled egg or 10 almonds

Dinner: Protein Shake

Supplements: Ginseng, Zinc, Vitamin B-12, Chromium Picolinate, Lecithin, L-Carnitine, CoQ10.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2
Beginning of Day 5: 164.8
Beginning of Day 6: 167.7
Beginning of Day 7: 165.7
Beginning of Day 8: 164.7
Beginning of Day 9: 164.4
Beginning of Day 10: 166.0

UGH. Almost a 2 pound weight gain after gorging last night on gluten-filled cake and oreos....YUCK. I'm actually surprised there wasn't more of a weight gain after such a pig fest.

Today was OK diet wise-- had a piece of gluten free toast with breakfast and lunch (hardboiled egg breakfast and carrot ginger soup lunch) a handful of chocolate chips for snack and chicken for dinner with a few pieces of sausage and about 1/2 cup rice. I really wanted wine tonight but stayed strong and abstained.

I get my hair colored tomorrow at 10am which means leaving for the appt by 9:15am...To get a workout in before, I need to start by 7am. It's so hard to do the cardio AND the mat, but I have to fit it in.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Rest Day

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2
Beginning of Day 5: 164.8
Beginning of Day 6: 167.7
Beginning of Day 7: 165.7
Beginning of Day 8: 164.7
Beginning of Day 9: 164.4

Only down .3 pounds, but it's still a loss, so I'm happy. Had a tough time with food today-- got really hungry when I was making dinner and ate way too much! AND, no workout. BOO! I'm so damn tired right now and it's 11:08pm, so I'm thinking I will try to double up on workout tomorrow. I simply have to get the workouts done early in the day or I won't do them. Now that I am not on any meds, I get tired and it's like, "Finished. Not another word, not another step, BED."

I will just consider today my "break" day. Hopefully no weight gain by morning. I'm going to make some lax tea to have before bed to combat any possibility of that!! I just want to get into the 150's by the weekend.

My tentative schedule and diet:
1 hour mat video
50-60 min of dance cardio
Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs or cereal with berries and almond milk
Lunch: Slimfast
Dinner: Vegetarian Soup with gluten-free bread
Snack: 2 Tb peanut butter

Monday, December 5, 2011

One Week Down and Down 7 Pounds

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2
Beginning of Day 5: 164.8
Beginning of Day 6: 167.7
Beginning of Day 7: 165.7
Beginning of Day 8: 164.7

I'm thrilled that the last couple days of working out has given me the same, (if not more) results from just Master Cleansing. I had to listen to my body-- and it just felt more productive for me to be eating clean-- if not sparsely -- but also working out. I still have yet to do a full hour of cardio and the mat video together. Today, I've got a ton of work to do, but I will definitely be getting to the workout PRONTO. I'm convinced that gluten is at the heart of my weight and mood issues. I had 3 slices of gluten free bread yesterday and I'm still down a pound-- whoohoo!

Now, if I can just nail the NBC gig! I have a phone interview with a New York media tour agency at 10am today, so hopefully, that will bring in some work and much needed $$ as well.

Fingers crossed!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Back Down 2

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2
Beginning of Day 5: 164.8
Beginning of Day 6: 167.7
Beginning of Day 7: 165.7

Lost 2 pounds from yesterday, Thank you LAWD. I did 3/4 of the mat workout and crashed out after a movie, and no cardio other than walking the dogs for 45 minutes. Here's the menu:
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs
Lunch: Slimfast with Almond Milk
Dinner: 3 carrots, 2 pieces of gluten-free bread topped with marinara sauce (2 bites of spicy sausage).

Today so far, I've done 50 minutes of dance cardio-- I really enjoyed Dance Cardio II which I did in its entirety and then repeated the first 2 dances. Walked the dogs for 45 minutes and have eaten well so far:

Pre-workout Breakfast: 1 cup of gluten-free cereal with almond milk and a few blueberries 150
Post-workout: 1 hardboiled egg with 1 piece of gluten-free toast 300
Lunch: Slimfast with almond milk and 2 Tb organic peanut butter 400

I'm going into the news station to put together my demo, so planning on roasting some brussel sprouts before I go-- I'm still a bit hungry, I'm assuming from the exercise. I'm averaging about 850 calories right now....Going to try to keep it under 1000 today. Plus, I still have to do my mat workout.

WILL get it done! Now, if I can just keep losing 1-2 lbs per day!!!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Back 3 steps, er 3 pounds.

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2
Beginning of Day 5: 164.8
Beginning of Day 6: 167.7

MOTHER F**ER. My attempt to "salt water flush out" the croutons I put on top of my soup and the greasy turkey meatballs I scarfed down were unsuccessful. Nothing happened. I just basically ingested much more sodium than necessary with no results. Actually, the results were a 3 pound weight gain. DAMN. I'm convinced it's the combo of sodium and gluten-- last time I ate pizza, I had a 3 pound weight gain and the next day it was gone after a gluten-free day.

SO....back AGAIN, on the wagon, AGAIN. Still down 4 pounds in 5 full days which is still OK, but I simply have to commit to this. I'm going to amp up the workouts-- full mat video and 1 hour cardio. Diet is going to be GLUTEN-FREE and no beef or chicken. Mostly vegetarian soups and steamed veggies with the slimfast and almond milk-- daily caloric intake under 750. Still going to do the laxative tea through next week to try to get down another 10 pounds or so. I'd like to think that if I can drop the 3 pounds back down by tomorrow, and consistently keep a 1 pound weight loss per day, by next Friday, I'll be atleast sub 160!

Friday, December 2, 2011


Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2
Beginning of Day 5: 164.8

Hallelujah! 7 pound weight loss in 5 days! AND, yesterday, I ate some scraps from JP's dinner, 2 oranges and did the Tracy Anderson mat workout. It made me more of a believer in exercise since it was the biggest drop in weight to date.

Today I actually didn't have any of the lemonade-- or haven't yet, rather. This was my menu:
Breakfast: Slimfast Shake with almond milk and ice cubes
Lunch: 2 Tb peanut butter
Dinner: Carrot soup with a handful of croutons *not gluten free ) : and 2 small turkey meatballs (not gluten free either).

Now, I am getting ready to do the mat workout and see if I can bang out atleast 45 of dance cardio and additional standing abs. I'm convinced that if I keep my calories under 1000 a day, plus the workouts, I can continue to lose weight at this pace.

The news director at NBC 4 Washington wants to see more on-camera video from me-- fingers crossed that I can meet with her next week-- and all the more motivation to keep losing! WHOO HOO!!!!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4
Beginning of Day 4: 167.2

Total Loss to date: 4.6 pounds

I'm relieved there was an actual 2 pound drop from yesterday, especially after my screw up last night. If I could just keep the pace of 2 pounds per day through the end of the cleanse, I'd be looking at 151 which would be awesome. Then, kick TAM into high gear and drop another 6-- whoo hoo!!!!!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Day 3 and Wagon Crash

Starving again. All day. Weigh in this morning was 169.4, another pound down, and then after a (finally) successful salt water flush and laxative tea, down one more pound to 168.4. THEN, it all fell apart. I snarfed down 3 oranges and had a few nibbles off of the lasagna I made JP along with some cornbread croutons. Son of a BEE-ATCH! Having my period isn't helping things...and I keep talking myself into stopping the cleanse and starting a TAM workout again, but I know I must finish this!!!

Back on track tomorrow. Just finished some more Dieter's Tea which is much stronger than Smooth Move.

Update in the morning! 8 more days...Come on, Parker! You can do this! Hopefully, I can drop below 160 and then shed another 10+. Goal is to go home on 12/23 at sub 150 lbs which, at this point, would be a small miracle.

Day 3

So here's the weight update:

Beginning of Day 1: 171.8
Beginning of Day 2: 170.4
Beginning of Day 3: 169.4

So, a grand total of 2.4 pounds since beginning of Day 1. I am fucking starving right now. And I miss chewing and tasting! The salt water flush and the Smooth Move tea weren't entirely effective yesterday....things weren't exactly, well...MOVING. So, I had the Super Dieter's Tea this morning, which brings back memories of horrible abdominal cramping and diarrhea.

I'm really ready to see that scale move lower--as in into the upper 140's range. I also just want to feel better-- totally reset my taste buds, my health, and successfully detox my system.

JP ordered pizza lastnight and I wanted to murder him it smelled so good. And now, the entire pizza (second pizza) that I would have eaten by myself is sitting in the fridge, taunting me.


Monday, November 28, 2011

Day 1 Complete

SO, my day didn't start until today, a day after I anticipated starting. Not a minute too late, since the scale read: 171.8 lbs. JESUS Freaking Christ.

I was hungry around 2pm, took a bath, felt majorly nauseous and took a nap. Got zero accomplished except for baking a shitty cake which I ate some icing off of....and some mini-turkey pot pies which I also "tasted." My ass is sore from the many trips to the bathroom and I'm exhausted.

Hopefully tomorrow will be more productive and easier to get through.


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Mistress of the Master Cleanse

Tomorrow starts my Master Cleanse 2011! 2010 was highly successful, with a huge weight loss and the kick off to my Tracy Anderson body extraordinaire! I tried the cleanse twice earlier this year and wasn't able to get past Day 5-- I chalked it up to stress. I always liken the MC to running a marathon--- 70% is mental power. I am tipping the scales at close to 170 and MUST drop some weight...but even more importantly (seriously) is the detox element. I have been breaking out in hives, rashes, and fits of tears....IT SUCKS. Detoxing from Wellbutrin, Adderal, Gluten and, apparently, my formerly happy self. I am hoping for that crystal clarity that happened around Day 7 last year. I had insane energy and creative hunger and only desire for healthy food. I am ready to change my life. It starts now. Well, um....after the rest of this bottle of wine. ( ;

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Back on track (almost.)

If the pic on the right was me today, I would be ON track, bigtime! Not so much. That was 20-25 pounds thinner last year. OY VAY.

So, yesterday, after my abominable Large Pizza binge, (make that Large SUPREME Pizza binge), I tipped the scale at 169.8 lbs. I mean, why not just break 170, Parkster? Serious gluten-intervention was necessary. I ate a small bowl of gluten-free cereal with blueberries and almond milk, had lentil soup with a gluten-free roll and some chicken with rice and veggies lastnight. No workout, but it was a better day all around as far as food goes. OH- and a handful of chocolate covered espresso beans, which I'm beginning to think might be giving me bad gas. / :

This morning, scale was 166.8 lbs, a 3 pound weight loss, which leads me to believe that all that cheese and dough were the culprits. Today, I did the full 45 minute mat workout, although no cardio. (Walking the dogs doesn't count!) Since getting off the medication, I am hungrier in a compulsive way-- like, wanting to eat when I'm not hungry, so I have to keep that in check. I'm also way thirstier, which is probably my body's way of telling me that it needs to flush itself out. I must truly be detoxing because I slept until 10:30am this morning which is unheard of for me!!

Today's food was OK-- 2 gluten free rolls, some more lentil soup, some rice noodles with homemade pad thai sauce, watermelon and another handful of espresso beans (with more gas, thank you very much!)

With the prospect of getting back on TV, I am more motivated than ever to get myself back in fighting shape-- I simply have to drop 20 lbs. I'm convinced that the whole body-mind connection is essential with TA--- as much as I like watching TV when doing that mat video, I have been focusing on connecting-- even while Criminal Minds has me captivated!

The best thing is, each day it gets easier...

Here is my motivating pic of the week-- back when I was about 140-145 lbs and regularly doing both cardio and mat daily. My arms are beast! (AND, I'm holding cake on a stick--- oh, the irony!)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

how many times are we going to restart this crap??

C'mon, Parker. Seriously, Woman. Buck up, lady and start your damn program!!!!!

I'm so upset with myself for being so freaking lazy and not following through with my TA workout.

Stats today were 165.8 lbs.

And, now that I ate an entire large Supreme Papa John's Pizza (OK, I didn't eat 2 pieces, but might as well have, fatso!!) I'm very worried about what the scale will read. Oh yeah, and the 10 Oreos. Awesome.

I am thinking about Master Cleansing after Thanskgiving, but we'll see how this week goes.

Friday, November 11, 2011

2 months later...Yikes.

OK, Ya'll. Here's the lowdonw: Since my last post, I fell off the TA wagon, got mired in depression, went broke, started a bonbon business, earned some money, went broke again and promptly put on 10 more pounds. Did you get that last part? I PUT ON 10 (TEN!!!) MORE POUNDS.

Part of that weight gain may be attributed to the fact that I also stopped taking all my medication. No more Adderall. No more Wellbutrin. The fact that the cost of my Adderall prescription went from $30 to $120 was a good motivator, but I knew deep down that it was the right time to go "au natural." Both those medications increase metabolism, so stopping them both is bound to slow it down-- atleast at first.

Fortunately, my foot seems to have healed, and I'm confident I can get back to cardio without pain or issues. I just had a great consultation with Dee Ragin, a homeopathic wellness coach who prescribes the "Eat Right for Your Type" Diet. I was shocked and horrified to find out that I'm A+ which, according to the ERFYT diet, works best with a....(gasp, snort, sniffle...) VEGETARIAN diet. GULP. I hate vegetables. I don't like eating them. I don't like cooking them. I often forget about the vegetable portion of dinner until it's almost too late to make some!!!! I'm probably the only chick on Earth who hates salads. Well, I like salads that have, um, BACON. Ya know. That kind of salad.

Well, now this bee-atch needs a serious detox. Not a master cleanse detox...yet. Dee suggested that I should do a raw cleanse-- sticking to veggies, fruits, smoothies, juicing, etc...I truly feel that's what I need to get healthy.

AND...what I really need is to get back to my girl Tracy. TODAY. I'm getting back to basics and plan to do the original TA mat workout with an additional 45-60 min cardio workout. Both. Everyday.

I'm going home to DC in 6 weeks and want to have this weight OFF. 170 and counting. At this point, just to be down to 150 would be amazing. I WILL do this!!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

YoYo Scale...Day 15, 16

No pain No LOSE. I have no problem with pain, especially when it's pain to drop that extra weight that's been hanging on for way too long. The sequence of Days 11-19 is freaking killing me. I hate it. No really. I HATE IT. I also hate that Miss Tracy is smiling through it, mocking me for my weakness and lack of grace. Just kidding T. Not kidding about still hating this damn sequence. And I thought 1-10 was taking a long time!!!!

My foot feels better-- I have continued daily with muscular structure work, but have been taking it easy on cardio ever since my foot started aching on Friday. I did 20 minutes of cardio Friday, 40 minutes Saturday, break Sunday and break Monday. (I did finish the mat work for those days though....)

So, today, going to attempt another 40 minute cardio dance sprint-- and knock out the mat work too. I'm heading outside to do it in the heat, hoping that will not only sweat off these pounds, but I'll be done with all working out before JP gets home.

I have to find the Weight Watcher's old as hell manual scale reads 160 still, but as soon as I shifted my heels just a bit, it went down to 150. What joy if my weight really was 150!!!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Late Night Finish L1 Day 14

Aside from walking the dogs, no cardio at all today to rest my aching foot. I did get through Day 14-- and at midnight! Atleast I finished. I am exhausted.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

4 day hiatus and now pain...

4 days of nothing. No cardio. No mat. No META. No Omni. Nothing but wine, cheese, and lots of food, chocolate and crap. I gained back 3 of the 5 pounds I had lost. Back to 163. Now, as I crawl, heave and claw my way back onto the wagon, my foot starts aching...and I mean, aching. After 2 incidents in the last 2 years of breaking the metatarsals in my left foot, it caught my attention, big time. PLEASE, God of all things Teeny Tiny, PLEASE do not let this be happening again! I cannot afford to be immobile-- from cardio to cooking!!!!

I'm going to take a bath, some Advil, and hope that it's only the rain that is making my damn foot hurt. I really, really, will freakin' kill someone if I have to sport another cast for months on end.

Diet was good today-- some coffee, a cup of berries (raspberries/blueberries) and a chicken breast. A nibble of rice when I cooked JP's dinner...probably will make another chicken breast for later. Craving protein for some reason.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Cramps, Cardio and Capping it off with Cabernet...Omni Day 12

The dreaded Aunt Flow has been especially horrible since I stopped taking the pill....My cramps have been debilitating the last 24 hours, so I was very impressed (GO ME!) with my ability to get through an hour of cardio and the entire Omni series. I discovered a very cool Asian site with a bunch of never before seen Tracy clips-- some of which have been deleted, unfortunately. I assume the "TAM police" monitor the internet and take down video postings because they don't want people to get away with not buying the actual DVD's. This is totally understandable, but a bummer nevertheless for those of us who have to tighten our belts financially, so to speak-- and have tighter belts, indicating even more of a need for TAM material!!

I took a hot bath after what felt like an eternity working out-- I went straight through Day 12 Omni, 20 minutes of Bootcamp Cardio, then took a break and finished with 40 minutes of the rogue cardio video...(I must find a way to import into imovie before it's removed!!)

Diet was good until dinner-- I had 2 boiled eggs, a tortilla with avocado, homemade salsa and tomato, and then breaded shrimp-- which is a delish recipe I have- with rice and caeser salad. The calories added up with the 2 margaritas and 3 glasses of red wine. Damn dinner and cocktails always get me! Hopefully with my girlfriend Kelley leaving tomorrow, I will be cutting down on the vino and ramping up the cardio. I'm not sure whether it was the length of my workout (done in the heat outside, by the way), the fact that I'd eaten more minimally during the day, or just my body chemistry (Aunt Flo), but I got DRUUUUUUUUNKY McDrunkerson! So much so, that I literally had to put down my glass and go right to bed! I woke up this morning way later than usual (9:30am as opposed to 6-7am) and will have to fit my workout in this afternoon.

The good news is that I think I've been consistent enough this go round that I will be sticking with the Meta Series till the end. Days 11-20 are a freaking killer. I had to stop 3 times through the last exercise-- the half triangle thingy. UGGGGH. Tracy looks simply glowing as she does it, smiling throughout. I wanted to kill her.

Actually, I just want her to kill these pesky 18 pounds!!!! Have not gotten on a scale in 3 days-- I'll step on it tomorrow morning. Still trying to find the damn Weight Watcher's scale! I did take measurements the other day, and will do so again at then end of this 10 day series.

Fairy Dust, bring it on!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Day 11....Finally.

Over the last few months, I have stopped and started and stopped and re-started AGAIN, the first 10 days of Metamorphosis Omni. Finally, blissfully, I made it through (not exactly STRAIGHT through-- as in, not 10 days in a row....but when I skipped a day, I made up for it. Basically, I did actually do the routine 10 times-- it just took me closer to 20 days!!)

OK, so onto Day 11...and more committed than ever. Weight still locked in at 160, but a 5 pound loss in the first tier of the program still makes me happy. Getting more consistent with the diet will be the trickier part. Ending the day yesterday with a baguette drenched in butter and parmesan cheese is not exactly on the TA menu! I'm also hoping to knock out the workout early today--- it's officially 9:30am. MUST POWER THROUGH! I will update later.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Miss Excuse of the Method, Level 1 days 9, 10....scratch that. Do over.

Excuses, excuses...I feel the disapproving glance of Tracy every time I come up with an excuse to skip a workout. Which I did, not once, not twice, but THREE times in the last 4 days. Stress. Work deadlines. Friends in town. Tired. UM, not gonna see results, Mistress of the Method. I am re-naming myself MISS EXCUSE OF THE METHOD.

Back on track today-- I guess it qualifies as Day 9 of Level One, and 40 minutes of cardio. I'm going to make every effort to bump it up to an hour of cardio a day--- as many days a week as possible. I'm curious whether maximum results come from 2 full hours a day-- and would it be best to double up on Omni or combine with Perfect Design or the original Mat DVD? I'm going to ask my fave BFF and TA follower....

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


love this random thigh pic!
Thighspiration: Gwyneth

Weight has stayed steady at 160--- in light of the not so moderate portions and the, um, ample servings of wine at dinner, I'm just glad the number hasn't creeped back up to 165!

I've found that working out in front of a mirror (even when the dreaded cottage cheese is visible) is extremely effective in terms of connecting with your body and "performing," as Tracy herself would say. I went to Marshall's and picked up some very cute workout gear (booty shorts/spandex undies) and some sports bras on sale. The problem is, as much as I like the gear, there is no hiding the thighs--- specifically, there is no hiding the thighs that are RUBBING TOGETHER during dance cardio. I'm referring to what is also known as THIGHSPACE. I consulted the Urban Dictionary, and this is the exact definition, albeit a bit crass:


This is the really hot little space between a slender, well shaped young woman's upper thighs. It's the gap under her vagina between her legs. At the beginning of James Bond movies, where you see sexy chick's silhouettes, this is where guys are focused if not on the tits ass, or legs. If a girl isn't skinny, her thighs will probably touch when she stands or walks. This is not as desirable.

joe: yo dude, check out jane!

john: yeah, man, that chick is a salad eater...

joe: how can you tell, dude?

jack: can't you tell, bro, it's her thighspace!

john: exactly...

joe: man, i gotta tell jill to lay off the chocolates...

So, to put it bluntly, my Thighspace needs more gap, less touching! I would like to note, though, that needing some more Thighspace is definitely more appealing than THIGHRICTION (the sound generated when thighs rub together) or, even worse, THIGHSCRAPER (describing the large size of a person's thighs, the close proximity of which causes them to scrape together as they walk).

I am officially coming up with a new word to add to the Urban Thigh Anthology:
The commitment to slenderizing thighs with the Tracy Anderson Method, done with conviction.

joe: yo dude, check out parker's thighs! They look so much more slender and shapely!

john: yeah, man, that chick turned on some serious thighviction to get those results!

My thighspiration (Yes, I made that one up too-- what can I say, I'm a wordsmith!!) is the lovely Gwyneth, my favorite TAM poster girl.

Monday, September 5, 2011

No Cottage Cheese Please! Omni (Day 7 Level 1)

A good TAM friend of mine was just telling me that her results were taken to a new level when she started doing her workouts in a heated room. She jacks her thermostat up to 87 degrees and after regular workouts in a sweltering apartment, all of the sudden she noticed that the cottage cheese on her thighs was disappearing. Brilliant. I don't think my man would appreciate higher electric bills than we already have, so I opted for an alternative. I have the benefit of a huge backyard with a pool and patio that is completely private, so I can take advantage of the (still 90 degree) early September heat. Mid-day at the height of the humid, sticky heat, I hauled my laptop and DVD's, 3 pound weights, yoga mat, and full length mirror to the concrete area next to the pool and started Day 6 of my Level 1 Omni workout. Everything was going swimmingly (no pun intended) until I looked up at the mirror to check my form. What the....I looked closer. There was no denying it. There was more cottage cheese revealed in the harsh light of day than the entire dairy section of Publix. I forced myself to watch my cottage cheesey dimpled skin as I contorted myself into the various mat exercises. I was actually relieved when it started to rain and I was forced to move my workout inside-- and into the more forgiving light of my basement. I managed to get through the whole 30 minutes of MS, then powered through all of Dance Cardio '08. That is still my favorite cardio video!

Food started out well--- I've been cooking up a storm for company this week, so when I made a Mexican egg casserole with Chorizo and Cheddar cheese yesterday morning, I only had a small portion which I didn't even finish. Snacked on watermelon after my workout. Dinner was not as disciplined. I made my Bourbon BBQ chicken wings with onion rings, Man salad (a hot dressing made with sour cream, blue cheese, brown sugar, balsamic vinegar and bacon!) and blackened shrimp on corn bread. I didn't have the salad (probably the unhealthiest element of the dinner!) but did indulge in the wings (3) (although they are baked) and the shrimp/cornbread. Only a couple onion rings. Then, added insult to injury by topping it off with a big bowl of low fat Reeses Peanut Butter cup ice cream with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. OH, and lest we forget, the, uh, bottle of red that I polished off during the feast. In the midst of food/wine/ice cream stuffed guilt, I hoped that atleast the workout might have neutralized the damage done!

This morning, feeling a bit groggy from a food coma and the 1 mg xanex, provided by my favorite houseguest, I stepped on the scale, hoping that it didn't budge past 165!!!! Relief when the scale read 160. Maybe these last 2 days of workouts have made more of a difference than I thought they would!

Also, took pics (after my workout, before the gourmet gorge-- and note: not in the hideous cottage cheese revealing daylight!) In general, I do feel slightly firmer everywhere, even if I'm still 20 pounds heavier than my goal weight. I am really ready to get through these first 10 days. I've started and stopped this level atleast 4 times, so it will be a triumph to officially move on the days 11-20!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Danger Zone: Scale Tips 165 (Day 6, Level 1)

I know numbers aren't supposed to dictate your life, your confidence, your sense of self or what your breakfast is going to be.....but this is a call to action, big time. I, currently, Mistress of Muffin Tops and Mucho Nachos, must come face to face with Tink, herself....Tracy Anderson, I am committing my 25 pounds of excess to your method. It starts TODAY. I've been doing Metamorphosis Omni on and off-- but I am back on the wagon. Despite having a friend in town for the next few days, I will be committing to an hour of cardio and an hour of MS work, eating as clean as possible with a house guest. Serving her carrot-parsnip puree is sort of out of the question!! Time to feel the burn....My family is coming to visit at the end of October and culinary school starts the following week (November 7!) MUST be back in fighting trim form by then. I'm really ready.