Weighty Issues

Ever since I left home at 18, I've always been conscious about my family's comments about my weight when I come home. Invariably, there would be some acknowledgement of weight loss or gain...."Do you REALLY think you need another brownie?" "You look like you need a burger." My entire family has always been fixated on physicality and I am dreading an inevitable, "You look so HEALTHY! Read: FAT."

Being off the medication definitely makes me more aware of food, think about food, and perhaps obsess about food more than I have in years. It's been hard to drop this weight-- really hard. I realize how important it is to do it the "natural" way, but my boobs feel huge and for the first time in my life, I feel like (I HAVE) a GUT!!! When I went to get my hair done yesterday, Zavia said, "Look at you girl, so muscular!" I look like a freaking linebacker.

I haven't been on a scale in a week-- I just couldn't bear seeing those numbers. That isn't necessarily making me less vigilant in my workouts and diet, but I figure I'll get on the scale AFTER Christmas. It was making me obsess about the numbers.

I just need to keep believing in the method. And believing in ME, for that matter.