Saturday, November 28, 2015

Hi it's Meeeeeeeee! Update and Stuff....

Hello Lovelies!

Yes, it's really me, peeking in to say a quick hi and catch you up on my wonderfully crazy life that has not had any cardio in 6 months forevah!  Last we chatted, I had gotten into that teeny tiny bikini on TV thanks to my low carb diet and Orange Theory Fitness.  Well, a few weeks later,  my old knee injury flared up from pounding on the treadmill, so I took a well-intentioned "break"-- and well....never went back.  No one likes a quitter, right?? But, I justified, OTF was expensive and it made me so freakin' hungry.  Probably the sign of a good workout, but I didn't return after my knee healed.  In fact, I didn't do any working out.  At all.

I started putting some pounds back on without the exercise, but it was my diet that was really bothering me.  Despite not eating processed carbs and sticking to a low carb/ketogenic meal plan, I was feeling like total crap.  I was feeling, for lack of a better term....TOXIC.  Cue the old Britney Spears' song..."You're toxic, I'm slippin' under, with a taste of poison paradise."  Turns out I was tasting "poison paradise" in the form of a highly acidic diet that had me in some serious pain.  Everything felt bad (and smelled bad!) I felt like I was rotting from the inside out.

With the help of a phenomenal holistic nutritionist, she explained that the ridiculous amounts of animal flesh and fat I'd been consuming had turned my body into a highly acidic and toxic place.  The goal is to be alkaline and balanced.  I was at the far end of the bacon spectrum!  Now, I was not planning to give up bacon, I assure you, but it would be typical of me to make an entire meal and forget to make a veggie.  Ridiculous.  I was in a cow coma for shizzle.  Eating waaaay too much meat and not enough greens.  Or fiber.  And putting too much butter in my coffee-- yes, butter in my coffee, for all y'all who've ever heard of a Bulletproof Coffee.

So I laid off the red meat and the butter a little and started eating a more plant based diet during the day.  It's based on The Lyn-Genet Plan, but I was reacting so many foods that I had to modify it to work for me.   I have never craved broccoli in my life, but all of the sudden, I wanted broccoli in my omelets, broccoli in my salads and broccoli for dinner.  CRAZY TOWN.  But wasn't I going to be starving without any animal protein for breakfast or lunch??? Turns out....I was just fine.  In fact, I was satisfied and my cravings utterly disappeared.

No let's be clear...I have always thought people who said, "I forgot to eat, I just wasn't hungry" were either lying or should be strapped to a table and forced to eat head cheese and pork rinds for 12 hours straight.  Who forgets to eat???  Not this girl.  But once I had cleansed out some of the garbage from my system, my natural hunger signals returned and I realized, I wasn't actually very hungry at all until around noon.  In fact, I'd be out and about running errands, starting to feel dizzy and would look at the time and realize I was WAY overdo for a meal.  I've always been a volume eater, not a snacker and not someone who likes to drink smoothies and shakes or eat protein bars.  Give me 2 giant meals a day with maybe a handful of almonds mid afternoon and that's how I roll.  Well, lovelies, that's how I got RID of the rolls, too!  Fat rolls, that is!

This is all going on while I've been suffering from the worst food allergies of my life.  Allergic to coconut milk, salmon, cashews, walnuts, name it.  I was reacting to it.  Apparently, when your body is acidic, you will react to a number of foods that might not actually be sources of inflammation for you, so you need to re-test after a few months.

FINALLY, after years and years of yo-yo dieting and stopping and starting, I've found what works for me.  Long term.   And if you've been reading this blog since the start, there have been numerous diets and quick fixes and liquid cleanses for 17 days that turned into a SHIT-UATION!  I mean, I have tried EVERYTHING.

The key for me is no sugar, no gluten and limited cow dairy.  Lots of veggies.  Lean protein at night.  A typical day for me is this:

7am: Coffee with a dash of heavy cream
10am: Handful of salted almonds
12pm: 2 egg omelet loaded with broccoli, spinach, peppers, onion with grated manchego cheese
3pm: Piece of buffalo mozzarella with a slice of tomato, a sprig of fresh basil and a pinch of salt
7pm: Chicken or steak or fish with a double portion of veggies (and wine--- maybe 2 glasses if I'm ahem, being good!)

I feel sooooo much better eating like this.  It has simply taken the drama out of my diet.  And, the best part, I lost all the weight I gained and have kept it off, without exercise.

I'm getting plenty of cardio daily walking a total of 220 pounds of pitbulls, LOL!  If you guys keep up with me on Facebook, (Yes, I am a crazy dog lady with a page devoted to my pitbulls!) you may have noticed just a few pictures of my new pups, Tom and Jerry.  They are the cutest, sweetest boys with the smooshiest kissy faces!

This summer, we lost our precious boy Clyde to hemangiosarcoma, a form of canine cancer that rarely shows any symptoms until the tumor is inoperable.  Within 24 hours of taking him to the vet with an upset tummy, we had to make the excruciating decision not to wake him up from surgery.

For me, it was losing a child.  I cried for 3 months straight.  I didn't want to get out of bed and some days just didn't.  Clyde and his sister Bonnie were like 2 peas in a pod, so we wanted to make sure she was ready for new friends.

Bonnie has totally embraced her new brothers and they love her!

They all sleep on my bed, by the way, LOL!

So, speaking of cute butts, that's what brings me back to Tracy Anderson.  I really haven't been keeping up with the new streaming videos she does and now apparently, the trend is to film yourself on Instagram doing #TARealTime which is interesting to watch after a few glasses of wine!  I'm just going back to basics and doing the Bootcamp series without all the cardio.

I'll post measurements tomorrow on my first day back to workouts!  My goal is not to lose weight, but to just get my tone back.  This is a recent bikini photo of me next to the shot when I'd just finished the bikini challenge.  Weight is exactly the same-- I just had more muscle tone on the left.

I'll admit, it's hard to motivate to do grueling workouts when I've been able to get by on relatively NO exercise and stay in my skinny jeans, but I know I'll feel better if I get some workouts in.

Quick update on my jobby job.  TV career is going great-- I get paid by big companies to use their products in my recipes and/or integrate them into my segments.  This is a recent satellite media tour I did in New York:

And, of course, love me some Sam Champion-- I got to do some summer wine pairings with him and his crew a couple months back....

Oh, and BadMuthafucka is doing great too, by the way!

He was featured on CNN  and did this bad ass video about his new business, Mutiny Artwrx...

Dontcha love the red beard??

Until tomorrow, my lovelies!  Oh, OK, here's one more pic of the babies...


~The Mistress

Friday, April 25, 2014

Bikini Reveal!

Before: 190 pounds.............................After: 147 pounds
Check out the bikini bod on the right, y'all!  Whoop whoop!  I worked my ass off for the last 6 weeks, going to Orange Theory Fitness 5x a week and also doing TAM mat work.  (Zero dance cardio). The pic on the left is NOT 6 weeks ago, but 15 months ago, before I started my weight loss journey.  I remember feeling so uncomfortable in my body when that picture was taken-- like I needed to strip off a shell to get back to the real me.  Well, here's the REAL me. I feel fantastic-- strong, toned and well, ripped!!!  I don't ever remember having abs like that in my life.  And I didn't bulk, regardless of the fact that I lifted more than 3 pounds-- and I didn't gain weight or get big legs from running on a treadmill in my OTF workouts.

Here's the segment-- I'm so proud of my progress-- seriously, I have not worn a bathing suit since I was in my 20's!!  I will update y'all in another post on my plan to MAINTAIN the beach bod!


The Mistress, aka Bikini Babe

Thursday, March 20, 2014

New Pics and Why Smiley Face Stickers Make Me Happy

So, I'm into my third week of the six week bikini challenge....the time is flying!  I snapped an update pic this past weekend which I posted on a couple fitness groups in FB, but wanted to share here as well.  I am definitely seeing a difference in my core and my level of strength!  I also was very pleased to find out that my body fat was tested at 18.5%.  That's like, "athlete" level, y'all!  Whoop whoop!  The pic on the left is me at the beginning of last year at my all time heaviest-- around 190 pounds.  It's hard for me to even imagine being that size again.  Lawd, what a journey!

Now that I'm not sore as hell used to the Orange Theory workouts, I've added TAM back into the mix-- not really following a specific schedule, just alternating some bootcamp workouts, mat workouts and add ons like standing abs.  There's still a part of me that gets terrified when we have to lift a 10 or 15 pound weight in the OTF workouts, but so far, no bulking.  If anything, my boobs are disappearing from all the cardio!

In my horrible chicken scratch, I hand drew a chart to keep me on track for the next 4 weeks which I've posted at home.  In each week's column, there's a spot for OTF (Orange Theory Fitness) TAM and RUN, for my one long training run each week.  I'm running a half-marathon over Memorial Day weekend!

I think my mom made the same kind of chart and posted it on the fridge with our chores when I was a kid!  Whatev, being able to put 2, yes 2 smiley face stickers on the chart last night with my completion of both OTF and TAM made me feel fabulous!!

My goal is OTF 5x a week, TAM 4x a week, one long run and one rest day.

I've been bringing my workout clothes to the office every day, so it's just become routine to get changed and head straight to the gym at 5pm.  Diet has been basically the same-- I've cut down a bit on dairy and I'm paying attention to portions.  I'm hungriest in the late afternoon--- but interestingly, not really after the high intensity workouts.  Lately, I've been snacking on Atkins bars, and while they taste OK, I'm not a fan of how processed they are.  I need to get better about packing homemade, whole food snacks.  One of these days I have to come up with a homemade low-carb energy bar recipe!

Hope you all are rocking your workouts!


The Mistress


Friday, March 14, 2014

Getting into a Bikini on TV...

Of all my crazy ideas, this one takes the low carb cake: The Mistress of Mayhem is getting into a 2 piece on TeeeeVeeee!!!  Wha-what?

It all started with a little segment I did for CBS on a hot new fitness program called Orange Theory Fitness.  I went to the shoot feeling slightly hungover with a kink in my lower back after crashing on a girlfriend's couch after a particularly rowdy bachelorette party.  I know, shocker, right?

So here I am, my fake eyelashes barely stuck on, hobbling in with the intention of doing some semi-cute on-camera stand up with me holding a 3 pound weight telling viewers to check out the new OTF studio. Yeah, not so much.  The trainer du jour was like, "You.  On the treadmill.  NOW."

Um, Yes, sir?????

1 hour and 571 calories later, I had sweat out the Cosmos I'd thrown back (and then some) and had by far, the best workout I'd done in years.  It was intense.  It was hard.  It was freaking awesome.  Orange Theory's philosophy is heart rate based interval training.  You wear a heart rate monitor and everyone's stats are splashed up on a big screen.  As I say in my TV preview, that translates to NO SLACKING.  The trainer can totally call you out if you're uh, under-performing!

You want to be in the "orange" (the sweet spot in fat burning capacity) for between 12-25 minutes of the hour long class....that guarantees you stay in "Orange Zone"-- the after-burn effect, where your metabolism is boosted so much that you continue to burn calories for up to 36 hours after the workout!  Here's more about the science behind Orange Theory.

The class alternates between 25-30 minutes on the treadmill, doing cardio intervals:  For example, you'll start out for 3 minutes at your "base pace" when your heart rate should be around 70-79% shown in green on the screen.  Then you amp it up to 3 minutes at a "push pace" and then 30 seconds in an "all out sprint" which should push you into the orange and sometimes into the red.  The trainer is telling you what incline and what speed to be at, so there's very little thinking that goes with it, which I loved.  I'm so focused on not falling off running faster that I prefer to just be told what to do.  So, your heart rate is being brought up in the push pace/sprinting to orange and then brought back down to the "green" in your base pace.

After pounding it out on the treadmill, the next phase of the workout goes back and forth between the weight room and the rowers.  In the weight room, there are those bad ass TRX ropes which are used for suspension training, with free weights, Bosu balance thingies and medicine balls.  YES, you are asked to lift more than 3 pounds-- sometimes up to 20 pounds.  But the exercises are spread out into 4-8 minute interals, so you never feel like you're really lifting heavy for too long.

A week and a half in and my core is feeling stronger and my abs look more defined.

So, ORANGE ya still curious about how one workout turned into  me deciding to get into a bikini on TV?  Yeah, well, about that.  I was so inspired by the workout, I decided to put myself to the ultimate challenge.  Me + Bikini + TV = Total Commitment.

I needed something hardcore y'all.  It was that simple.  You know from reading this blog, that if I don't have a plan and a challenge, I don't have a workout.  So, here's the plan:

5x weekly workouts at OTF.  That's a 60 minute sweat fest 5x a week, killing between 500-700 calories a session.  (I think the most I burned in one class last week was 671 calories. KILLER workout!)

I'm a littler nervous about veering away from TAM and dance cardio, but to appease those concerns, I'm still going to be working in some mat sessions each week.  Goal is 4 mat workouts.  And, to add even more of a challenge, I just registered for a half-marathon which I'll be running over Memorial Day weekend.  Crazy, right?

Do you expect anything less from the Mistress?  Go hard or go home, bee-atches!!!

Oh, I almost forgot the best part.  I'll be doing the dreaded before and after pics which will be broadcast on TV in addition to the bikini reveal.  Yup.  Thank God my "before" (now) looks sooo much better than it did a year ago.  I did pack on a few pounds (like 8) after all that crazy snow coverage, wine guzzling and cheese nibbling, but I'm back down 4 after a week of workouts, so only have 4 left to lose to get back to where I was when I was doing bootcamp about 6 weeks ago.  Considering the amount of cardio I'm going to be doing, I think they'll fall off by the end of next week.

As far as diet goes, I'm definitely hungrier and need more fuel for this workout.  I only had breakfast yesterday and slammed a power bar before the workout and I felt like I had no gas in my tank.  I've got to plan my daily meals better for sure.  I'm not amping up the carbs necessarily, but I am continuing to track my intake on MyFitnessPal (hungryroadwarrior).  I am still sticking to the low carb high fat style of eating, but realize I do not process sodium well at all and dairy stalls me if I have too much.  One handful of olives can cause me to jump 2 pounds on the scale the next day--- and it's all sodium!  So, here's a typical day:

Upon waking around 6:30/7am: 2 cups espresso with heavy cream (I'm just not hungry when I wake up)
Snack around 10am: 1 whole avocado with kosher salt
Lunch around 1pm: 8 oz chicken, ground turkey, roast beef with 2oz of cheese, asparagus or salad
Snack (late afternoon): Atkins snack bar or a hunk of parmesan or fresh mozzarella (trying to cut down on my cheese a little!)
Dinner: 8oz of steak, fish, or chicken with veggies

I occasionally make these low carb peanut butter chocolate bombs (usually without the peanut butter) for a sweet snack.  Or if I'm craving ice cream, I whip heavy whipping cream with some truvia and vanilla extract and then pop it into the freezer for an hour.  Delish.

As of today,  I'm wrapping up Week 2 and have one month to go till the bikini reveal!!!  This the 2 piece I think I'm going to splurge on-- it's expensive, but I think would be worth it. It's from LSpace.  I want it to be a somewhat athletic cut, but still feminine.  I love Victoria's Secret, but sometimes their suits are so....well, Victoria's Secret.  I think the key is going to be a good wax (yes, I went there) and a bad ass spray tan!

Check out my on-camera preview of Orange Theory Fitness for CBS-- and, yeah, I'm wearing clothes in this one, LOL!

*above OTF pics from

CBS46 News

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Mistress M.I.A.


"Anyone home?????"

(Cracks door and peeks out....)

Slams door shut.

Y'all have been knocking and I've been cracking, peeking and slamming.  OK, that just sounded weird.  Like some new game devised by Christian Grey from 50 Shades.

I digress.

I've been busy.

And I've been avoiding you.

Because I bailed on bootcamp.  Like, totally, white flag waving, DONESKI.  WTF??!!

Here are my excuses:

1. Snowpocalypse II.

Atlanta was hit with another round of "shut-the-whole-damn-city-down-we-have-an-inch-of-snow" a couple weeks ago and the Mistress was pulled from her cooking segment and commercial production to.....yup.  You guessed it:  Report from the snow-dusted streets of Icedlanta.  Here I am interviewing a Georgia Power spokesperson about mass power outages.

It was 36 hours of freezing cold, napping in the news truck between live shots and overall exhaustion.  By the time I got home to thaw out convalesce, my workouts were out the window and it's been a struggle to get back on the mat.

2. Cooking Classes Launch

I have taken my love of all things low carb and delish to a new platform with high-end cooking classes!

My first class was this week with 12 students and it was a smashing success!  I had a blast and the ladies in my class were fabulous-- I taught them how to make cashew "cheese" using a food processor and a no-oil avocado dressing that vegans everywhere would covet!  I also showed them how to saute shrimp perfectly and how to dice and make a mango salsa.  I loved every minute!  After a demonstration, and rotating through cooking stations, the ladies sat down to a gourmet taco lunch....

Now the ladies are talking about making a monthly date with the Mistress in the Kitchen!  My goal is that this turns into a lucrative little side biz!  Stay tuned....

3. Shooting new "Eat Rich, Stay Skinny" cooking videos

Candied bacon, anyone??  I'm working on this new video series to bring bad ass recipes and tips and tricks to YOUR kitchen.  Try the bacon.  It's freaking insane.

4. Winning chili contests....

You know, cuz that's how I roll.....I won our station chili contest yesterday (and ate 4, yes, 4 hotdogs.) you can see, the Mistress has been Mucho Busy.

Now that my excuses have run out, it's time to get back to action.  I haven't set foot in a Zumba class in 3 weeks and haven't been on the mat in 2 weeks.  As I'm writing this, I'm trying to devise a game plan.  To be honest, I found the hour + workouts make me feverishly hungry and I ended up gorging on cheese overeating on a couple occasions.  Since I've made so much progress losing weight with diet alone, I'm re-thinking the amount of time that I need to be working out.  I'm wondering if maybe alternating days of cardio/mat might be a better fit for me.

I'm going back to Zumba starting Saturday for sure.  Maybe adding abs and arms to cardio days, but saving the main mat work for the off cardio day?

What do y'all suggest?


The Mistress of Many Excuses


Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Mistress of Many Meals. And Cakes.

Pinapple Coconut Birthday Cake Delish

I'm stuffed.  It's been an entire week of indulgence-- from Superbowl snacks to birthday cake to dinners and drinks out.  Thankfully, I've been able to work off a few calories in my weekly Zumba classes.  (I made it to 3 this week) but I definitely do not feel leaner or more toned. In fact, the scale has jumped UP a few pounds, leading me to believe that 1. the sugar and booze have caught up with me and 2. I'm putting on some muscle.
3.  It's time to cut out the sugar and booze.

Mistress of Moderation, I am not.  This weekend, there was a SINK INCIDENT.  We went to a dinner party and when we got home I found myself standing over the kitchen sink stuffing rum cake into my cake pie hole.  Whaaaaaat is that?????  There may have been a few cocktails to blame for that classy move.  JP walked in and was like, "Whoah, hungry much?"

So, these last 10 days of bootcamp, I'm re-committing to cutting out the booze and sugar.  They're what got me into trouble in the first place.  Well, I'll start cutting it out tomorrow, LOL.  I have a dinner out with a girlfriend tonight and cocktails will probably be on the menu.

And it's her birthday, so there might be MORE birthday cake involved.  And rum.

Yeah, well.  A girl's gotta live.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Day 16: "Snowpocalypse" Workout

It's Snowpocalypse down here in Atlanta,  y'all!

In all my years covering winter storms in my career as a TV journalist, I've never seen anything like this.  2 inches of icy snow with a combination of poor leadership from the city and state led to thousands of people forced to abandon cars on the side of interstate highways, school children sleeping at their schools--- the entire metro area came to a freezing, paralyzing standstill.

But did that stop the Mistress' workout?  Hell to the NO!

I thawed out by spending the majority of the day snugged up with my man....(that could have been considered a workout, haaaaaay!) But I did make time for 30 minutes of bootcamp cardio and 35 reps of Sequence 2.  I have 4 more days of level 2 before moving on the final sequence.

With the rations I had on hand, I also came up with a recipe for these delish "Snowpocalypse" Vanilla Rum Cheesecake Bites.  OMG.  They're low-carb, sugar free AND gluten free.  You're welcome.

Happy Baking, Baby Making (and working out!)


The Mistress