Saturday, November 28, 2015

Hi it's Meeeeeeeee! Update and Stuff....

Hello Lovelies!

Yes, it's really me, peeking in to say a quick hi and catch you up on my wonderfully crazy life that has not had any cardio in 6 months forevah!  Last we chatted, I had gotten into that teeny tiny bikini on TV thanks to my low carb diet and Orange Theory Fitness.  Well, a few weeks later,  my old knee injury flared up from pounding on the treadmill, so I took a well-intentioned "break"-- and well....never went back.  No one likes a quitter, right?? But, I justified, OTF was expensive and it made me so freakin' hungry.  Probably the sign of a good workout, but I didn't return after my knee healed.  In fact, I didn't do any working out.  At all.

I started putting some pounds back on without the exercise, but it was my diet that was really bothering me.  Despite not eating processed carbs and sticking to a low carb/ketogenic meal plan, I was feeling like total crap.  I was feeling, for lack of a better term....TOXIC.  Cue the old Britney Spears' song..."You're toxic, I'm slippin' under, with a taste of poison paradise."  Turns out I was tasting "poison paradise" in the form of a highly acidic diet that had me in some serious pain.  Everything felt bad (and smelled bad!) I felt like I was rotting from the inside out.

With the help of a phenomenal holistic nutritionist, she explained that the ridiculous amounts of animal flesh and fat I'd been consuming had turned my body into a highly acidic and toxic place.  The goal is to be alkaline and balanced.  I was at the far end of the bacon spectrum!  Now, I was not planning to give up bacon, I assure you, but it would be typical of me to make an entire meal and forget to make a veggie.  Ridiculous.  I was in a cow coma for shizzle.  Eating waaaay too much meat and not enough greens.  Or fiber.  And putting too much butter in my coffee-- yes, butter in my coffee, for all y'all who've ever heard of a Bulletproof Coffee.

So I laid off the red meat and the butter a little and started eating a more plant based diet during the day.  It's based on The Lyn-Genet Plan, but I was reacting so many foods that I had to modify it to work for me.   I have never craved broccoli in my life, but all of the sudden, I wanted broccoli in my omelets, broccoli in my salads and broccoli for dinner.  CRAZY TOWN.  But wasn't I going to be starving without any animal protein for breakfast or lunch??? Turns out....I was just fine.  In fact, I was satisfied and my cravings utterly disappeared.

No let's be clear...I have always thought people who said, "I forgot to eat, I just wasn't hungry" were either lying or should be strapped to a table and forced to eat head cheese and pork rinds for 12 hours straight.  Who forgets to eat???  Not this girl.  But once I had cleansed out some of the garbage from my system, my natural hunger signals returned and I realized, I wasn't actually very hungry at all until around noon.  In fact, I'd be out and about running errands, starting to feel dizzy and would look at the time and realize I was WAY overdo for a meal.  I've always been a volume eater, not a snacker and not someone who likes to drink smoothies and shakes or eat protein bars.  Give me 2 giant meals a day with maybe a handful of almonds mid afternoon and that's how I roll.  Well, lovelies, that's how I got RID of the rolls, too!  Fat rolls, that is!

This is all going on while I've been suffering from the worst food allergies of my life.  Allergic to coconut milk, salmon, cashews, walnuts, name it.  I was reacting to it.  Apparently, when your body is acidic, you will react to a number of foods that might not actually be sources of inflammation for you, so you need to re-test after a few months.

FINALLY, after years and years of yo-yo dieting and stopping and starting, I've found what works for me.  Long term.   And if you've been reading this blog since the start, there have been numerous diets and quick fixes and liquid cleanses for 17 days that turned into a SHIT-UATION!  I mean, I have tried EVERYTHING.

The key for me is no sugar, no gluten and limited cow dairy.  Lots of veggies.  Lean protein at night.  A typical day for me is this:

7am: Coffee with a dash of heavy cream
10am: Handful of salted almonds
12pm: 2 egg omelet loaded with broccoli, spinach, peppers, onion with grated manchego cheese
3pm: Piece of buffalo mozzarella with a slice of tomato, a sprig of fresh basil and a pinch of salt
7pm: Chicken or steak or fish with a double portion of veggies (and wine--- maybe 2 glasses if I'm ahem, being good!)

I feel sooooo much better eating like this.  It has simply taken the drama out of my diet.  And, the best part, I lost all the weight I gained and have kept it off, without exercise.

I'm getting plenty of cardio daily walking a total of 220 pounds of pitbulls, LOL!  If you guys keep up with me on Facebook, (Yes, I am a crazy dog lady with a page devoted to my pitbulls!) you may have noticed just a few pictures of my new pups, Tom and Jerry.  They are the cutest, sweetest boys with the smooshiest kissy faces!

This summer, we lost our precious boy Clyde to hemangiosarcoma, a form of canine cancer that rarely shows any symptoms until the tumor is inoperable.  Within 24 hours of taking him to the vet with an upset tummy, we had to make the excruciating decision not to wake him up from surgery.

For me, it was losing a child.  I cried for 3 months straight.  I didn't want to get out of bed and some days just didn't.  Clyde and his sister Bonnie were like 2 peas in a pod, so we wanted to make sure she was ready for new friends.

Bonnie has totally embraced her new brothers and they love her!

They all sleep on my bed, by the way, LOL!

So, speaking of cute butts, that's what brings me back to Tracy Anderson.  I really haven't been keeping up with the new streaming videos she does and now apparently, the trend is to film yourself on Instagram doing #TARealTime which is interesting to watch after a few glasses of wine!  I'm just going back to basics and doing the Bootcamp series without all the cardio.

I'll post measurements tomorrow on my first day back to workouts!  My goal is not to lose weight, but to just get my tone back.  This is a recent bikini photo of me next to the shot when I'd just finished the bikini challenge.  Weight is exactly the same-- I just had more muscle tone on the left.

I'll admit, it's hard to motivate to do grueling workouts when I've been able to get by on relatively NO exercise and stay in my skinny jeans, but I know I'll feel better if I get some workouts in.

Quick update on my jobby job.  TV career is going great-- I get paid by big companies to use their products in my recipes and/or integrate them into my segments.  This is a recent satellite media tour I did in New York:

And, of course, love me some Sam Champion-- I got to do some summer wine pairings with him and his crew a couple months back....

Oh, and BadMuthafucka is doing great too, by the way!

He was featured on CNN  and did this bad ass video about his new business, Mutiny Artwrx...

Dontcha love the red beard??

Until tomorrow, my lovelies!  Oh, OK, here's one more pic of the babies...


~The Mistress


  1. Hey girl, what a treat to catch up! Sorry for the loss of your fur baby, it is one of the most difficult things to bear. It is wonderful all the pups are getting along, you have your hands full with three :)

  2. Oh wow, I just roamed through the web to find all my fellow TAM-ladies again and I am thrilled you´re still blogging here :)
    I can relate so much to your knee-issues. My whole life kinda turned upside down after my accident a few years back. I love your positive outlook even though you had to go through some hard times. I am sorry, girl!

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