Monday, January 9, 2012

Nutella, Swinger Landlords and Overpromising...

Last Monday, I was chowing down on a giant Southern fried pork chop with creamed corn and buttered rolls until I felt like I needed to unbutton my jeans! A week later, I'm chowing down on a grilled chicken breast in a spicy Thai sauce with broccoli-- and then had a few decadent tastes of vanilla low-fat ice cream with Nutella. Was spicy Thai sauce and ice cream with Nutella on the Tracy Anderson Bootcamp menu? Hell No! But, the triumph tonight, is, that I didn't feel the need to stuff myself. I had a few bites to satisfy my craving and was able to PUT. THE. NUTELLA. DOWN.

Danger: May consume entire container if opened.
After an ultra-stressful day (I had 2 meltdowns that resulted in tears and fists doing the Parker version of Jersey Shore air punching)...but what always calms me down and takes away the pain is (2nd to Xanex with some Makers Mark) is getting into my little kitchen and cooking! I was supposed to have grilled salmon with endive and triple carrots tonight-- but, salmon wasn't on the budget. Chicken was already in my fridge. So, I made a delicious and healthy sauce with some hoisin sauce, a bit of peanut butter and some coconut milk with spicy thai chili and a sprinkling of cashews.

It was divine. I felt so much better after an hour of cooking!

While my Thai chicken dish was certainly more indulgent than a dry salmon fillet with a few pieces of endive and onion, just a week into this diet has helped me remember that I don't need to feel stuffed to feel satisfied.
Not exactly on the Bootcamp menu...Parker's Thai Chicken & Broccoli with Cashews

Now, the challenge tonight, as it was last night, is to get the whole workout in! I had 2 1/2 glasses of wine and I'mthinking to myself, "Drunk Dance Cardio--- whoo hoo! It'll be like dancing at a club after a few cocktails!" *

*Fade to Black: Parker passes out cold.

Cut to Next morning: UM, yeah. "Drunk Dance Cardio--- whoo hoo! It'll be like dancing at a club after a few cocktails!" Not so much. Mistress of Moderation, here, touting her ability to not STUFF herself and to stick to her PLAN, completely crashed out in a blur of Cabernet and Nutella without even so much as a leg lift! No dance cardio. No MS. Nothing but snores from Miss "Triumph Tonight!"

Am I being too hard on myself? After all, didn't you just read about my TAMfabulous Week 1 results? Down 9.4 pounds and 8 3/4 inches! The pics don't lie! WELL....that's what got me thinking about a little action called follow through. Staying true to your word.

JP and I were having a convo yesterday about "all the people in the past year who screwed us over and didn't follow through with promises." There were the swinger landlords who couldn't get us into bed and then wouldn't pay for the rat infested garbage to be removed from our property which they had dumped there...(Seriously, you can't make that shit up!) Then there was the 80K (yes 80K) art commission that JP was promised and never got a contract for...There was the investor who promised to fund my delish Bonbons and have them in "10,000 stores across the country" but never came up with a possibly future employer who shall remain nameless told me last week that I would know if I had the radio gig by Monday, back pedaled when I called him: "OH, did I say that, Parker? Well, you know how these things go-- it's a process and we have a lot of candidates. We probably won't have a decision made until the end of the week." MMMHHHMMM.

It's easy to play the blame game with all the people who Fu** us over-- "I'm broke because the investor fell through." "I'm not an international art superstar because I didn't get the big commission." But what about the promises we make to ourselves? Ya know, those promises that turn into procrastination, that turn into full-0n lies to ourselves? "I'm going to do TAM 6 days a week, 90 minutes a day!" "I'm going to follow a diet plan perfectly starting tomorrow! RIGHT after this piece of cheesecake!" Is it that we're all inherent liars? Are we naturally prone to dishonesty and broken promises? Nah. I think people on the whole have a consistent problem of trying to do/accomplish/achieve too much too soon. We overpromise and then we underdeliver.

The overpromise/underdeliver issue is especially seductive when we start to see results in our work-- whether it's financially or physically. Take me for example: I justified my 2 1/2 glasses of wine and a few bites of Nutella lastnight because I knew I had achieved great results in the first week of Bootcamp. Part of the reason I'm in such a financial hole is that whenever a windfall of money came in, I'd justify why I deserved a new pair of shoes instead of putting that cash in savings.

Thing is, the second we start rewarding ourselves too soon, (and too often) the easier it is to fall into a trap of fewer results and less progress. 2 1/2 glasses of wine and a few bites of Nutella will add up to a whole lot of calories and not a whole lot of inches/pounds lost if I make that reward a habit! We all need rewards, but we have to be judicious in how we award them--- especially when it comes to ourselves.

Maybe, instead of promising that we're going to do 90 minutes of a workout, we shoot for 30 minutes, adding 5 minutes every couple days until 90 is accomplished. Or sticking to our diets 80% of the time instead of veering so far off the 100% commitment that we end up sabotaging ourselves and starting over-- again and again and again.

Do I regret the Nutella and the wine? No-- I do feel like I deserved it. But my ass is going to be working out harder today to make up for it-- although, I don't think I can fully commit to a double workout.... After all, wasn't it just 2 days ago after my 1am 20 minute cardio session that I was "promising" that I would double up on my cardio the next day? Well, the next day turned out to be my Nutella Cabernet crash out! UM, hello, Mistress of Overpromise and Underdeliver!

Besides, isn't it better to UNDERpromise and OVERdeliver? It would make me so happy to report to you tomorrow, for example, that instead of 40 minutes of cardio, I did 60 minutes. (Don't consider that a promise,'s an example!!!)

Here's something I CAN promise and make good on: The Nutella and the Cabernet will not be making an appearance today!



  1. Excellent piece of writing. So true, but few put it clearly and succinctly. Really getting into your gooovy blogy style gal! Ta!

    1. Nutella is the devil disguised in chocolate hazelnut!!!! Thanks so much for reading, Olivia! xxoo