Mistress of Master Cleanse - Day 15

Holy Shnikes.  I can't believe this is the THIRD Monday I've been at work and haven't had solid food.  Day 15 for me and Day 3 for Mister Master Cleanse!  We were joking this weekend about our new routine:  Get up. Poop.  Drink tea/salt water flush.  Poop.  Sip Lemonade.  Poop.  Drink tea.  Poop.

Lots of shit goin' on this weekend!  We had a really relaxing couple days together, lounging by the pool and just laughing ourselves silly.  Early Saturday evening, JP suggested we go out.  Normally, that would involve eating or boozing, neither of which was on the cleanse agenda, so instead, we entertained ourselves with a drive around town and a trip to Stone Mountain.  We walked around, taking in the beautiful sights and basked in absolutely perfect weather.  We both wore hats and appropriately dubbed ourselves, "The Hattersons."

I've never felt so happy, so healthy and so in love!  It is an amazing feeling....sublime, really.

I texted JP from work today to find out if he was detoxing at all....Day 3 for me was horrible.  Um, nope.  "I feel great!" he texts back.  I told him he was a Viking Warrior God-- who else feels fabulous on Day 3 of the Master Cleanse?  It's unheard of.  It's also why someday he's gonna be my Baby Daddy!

I got home and the Bad Muthafucka cup now bears an additional title:

BadMuthafuckaVikingWarriorGod (if anyone's asking!)

Tons of you have contacted me through Facebook for information about the Master Cleanse, so I'm going to do my best to answer your questions--- some of which are drawn from my own experience, others are from Master Cleanse experts (yes, there are people who have made a career from advising about the cleanse-- there are actually Master Cleanse Coaches, which I discovered during an online fact finding mission!)


1. Why should I do the Master Cleanse?
To put it bluntly, our bodies are filled with a ton of garbage that we can't digest and it just ends up sitting around, rotting inside us.  A thick plaque clings to the insides of our intestines, preventing nutrients from being absorbed.  Some people have a whopping 20 pounds of this dense fecal matter clinging to their insides.  That matter is a breeding ground for bacteria and if you don't remove it, it starts to poison you.

This is where the detox comes in.  A detoxification diet gives your body a fresh start-- a reset to your dietary hard drive.  Doing this will make you healthier and will:

• Lead to increased energy levels
• Help you break junk food/sugar addiction
• Cleanse the body of harmful toxins
• Promote weight loss with a more efficient metabolism
• Strengthen your immune system and protect against disease

In order to properly detoxify and "flush" the body, the Master Cleanse must be followed strictly for 3 to 10 days. (If you're more advanced, you can stay on for longer, but for those of you doing the cleanse for the first time, it is advised to only go the maximum 10 day stretch.)

I can personally attest to the benefits I have experienced.  I will never know for sure if the cleanse is partly to thank for getting rid of my ovarian cyst, but I think it helped.  My Athlete's Foot cleared up as well as my infected nail cuticles!  I'm down more than 15 pounds and feel like I look 5 years younger.  I swear, my wrinkles are disappearing!

The Master cleanse is extremely effective dealing with acne and other skin conditions.

2. What is the Master Cleanse recipe?

Single Serving:
10 oz filtered water
2 Tb Grade B Maple Syrup
2 Tb lemon juice (approx 1/2 a lemon)
1/10 tsp of cayenne pepper

Daily Serving:
60 oz filtered water
12 Tb Grade B Maple Syrup
12 Tb lemon juice (approx 3 lemons)
1/2 tsp cayenne

Lemon juice MUST BE FRESH squeezed.  Do not use the bottle you can get in the grocery store that says "fresh squeezed."  Buy whole lemons.  I squeeze them by hand, but you can use a juicer too.

The cayenne pepper is absolutely necessary to help break up mucus and increase healthy blood flow.  It's also a source of B and C vitamins.

Only use GRADE B maple syrup.  No Aunt Jemima!  Grade B maple syrup provides a much needed source of carbs and energy during the cleanse-- it's the only element of your daily drink that has calories.  If you want to lose more weight, you can put less syrup in your lemonade, but do not eliminate it.

2 Laxatives are also used on the Master Cleanse:

• Salt Water Flush (4 cups of water with 2 teaspoons of UNIODIZED sea salt dissolved.)  Ideally the SWF should be taken in the morning on an empty stomach.   Warm water is gentler on the system and helps flush mucus out of your digestive tract.  The flush creates a liquid-y poop that is mostly water.  It takes between 15-45 minutes once you drink it to take effect.  Stay near the bathroom!  If you can't tolerate it, you can opt for only using the tea, once in the morning and once before bed.

• Herbal Laxative Tea: I use Smooth Move (chocolate flavor is my favorite!)  Best taken before bed (I add a teaspoon of maple syrup in to sweeten it a bit).  Do not over-steep the tea, or the senna leaf in the tea can cause bad cramping and uncomfortable eliminations.  It usually takes 4-8 hours for the tea to take effect.  Eliminations are more solid than the salt water flush poops.

3. Can I exercise on the Master Cleanse?

If you exercise regularly, you should either take some time off or cut out any vigorous exercise.  Your body will be taxed when you go on the Master Cleanse.  As the cleanse starts to work, your body begins eliminating waste and toxins and you'll most likely feel exhausted and depleted.  Do not push your body to do anything strenuous.  Many people enjoy walks and light yoga or stretching while they're cleansing.  The most exercise I've done on this cleanse is daily 30 minute walks with the doggies.

4. How much weight will I lose?
Weight loss is the added bonus of the Master Cleanse.  It should not be your primary goal.  Beyonce famously lost 20 pounds on the cleanse before she started filming Dream Girls, but average weight loss for women is about a pound a day....so after the 10 days, a 10 pound weight loss is average.  Guys tend to lose a bit more.  But, remember, the weight only comes off if you have it to lose.  For those people who are already thin and fit, you may not lose any weight-- or a minimal amount.  Most people gain back about half the weight.  The last time I had success on the Master Cleanse, I kept the weight off by jump starting a 90 minute Tracy Anderson routine 6x per week.

5. Can I take my prescription medications or vitamins while doing the Master Cleanse?
The Master cleanse works best when you let your body cleanse without any added chemicals or supplements.  That said, it would be irresponsible to stop taking certain medications, so check with your doctor first.  I did several successful cleanses while I continued to take Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant.  A cleanse may also help you detox from prescription medications if you are weaning yourself off, but it is very important to consult with a medical professional before doing so.  Your body may not react positively to the "stress" of a cleanse if you are just getting off medications.  Everybody is different.

6. Is there anything I can do about the intense hunger I'm feeling on the cleanse?
On advice from Master Cleanse expert, Raylen Sterling, I take Wheat Grass pills which provide a source of protein, otherwise lacking on the Master Cleanse.  They help sooooo much!  He also suggests using Hoodi-Thin, an all-natural appetite suppressant.  I have not used Hoodi-Thin, but the main ingredient is Hoodia Gordonii, an African plant that suppresses appetite.  There are a ton of fake Hoodia products on the market so Hoodi-Thin is recommended because it is certified, genuine Hoodia.  If you stick with the cleanse beyond Day 3, your hunger truly disappears.  It is a huge reminder how powerful "emotional hunger" is.

7.  What is the secret to successfully completing the 10 days?
People have been asking me this over and over since I started posting about the Master Cleanse.  There are 2 things I can tell you:  The first is to think of your lemonade drink as an IV, with a constant drip, continually "feeding" you all day.  I heat up my lemonade and sip it like tea throughout the day.  Sometimes I put a caffeine free tea bag in and make it more like a lemonade/tea drink.  People who gulp down a glass every few hours run the risk of their blood sugar getting low and thus getting hungry.  If you go out to run errands, make sure you pack your drink to take with you!  I got caught without my lemonade and ended up in a parking lot cutting up lemons in my car!

The second, most important element of success is to CONNECT with your mind and body during this process.  We are constantly battling our bodies, berating these beautiful portals -- our physical vessels that protect our vital organs and continue to heal when we damage ourselves with negativity, junk food, destructive behavior, etc... I posted this earlier on, but want to remind you all what I have been repeating to myself daily:

Dear Body,

You have been my vessel of strength and stability for the last 36 years....You have healed broken bones; you have repaired the damage I have inflicted on you with years of wear, tear and abuse; you have brought me to the finish line of marathons; you have helped me stay in motion and have also taught me stillness; you have filled me with the endorphins of natural ecstasies that inspire me and flushed me of toxins that sicken me; you have renewed my spirit with energy and purpose....I give you permission to let go of negative energy, to shed the skin of excess and impulse. For all of this, I will embrace you, honor you and love you with healthy choices to the best of my ability.

And for that, my lovelies, I think I've earned a cup title of my own:

xxoo