Friday, April 20, 2012

Mistress of Master Cleanse - Day 5

NOTE:  Not sure why my text is all screwy, but it keeps publishing different sizes and fonts!  Sorry!

I read a great quote on a blog yesterday from someone in the middle of the Master Cleanse:  
"Psychologically I'm fine, stubbornly satisfied to exist in the netherland between rabid hunger and an eternal lemonade stand."

And that, lovelies, is how the Mistress is feeling on Day 5-- dare I say that I'm  half-way through it all?!?

My day started out extremely well--- despite waking up from a binge dream.  Dreaming about food is common on this cleanse.  2 nights ago, I dreamt I was giving Oprah my fabulous and delicious bonbons, but realized they were melting in a suitcase!  DOINK!  Lastnight, I had a dream I was eating chocolate eclairs with my hands and realized there were ants crawling all over the pastry.  I kept on eating them.  Oh yes.  Can someone say, "Hungry much?"  The thing is, I had a conscious moment in the dream when I realized I didn't really feel like eating any more eclairs (chocolate covered ants included!)  So, I guess that was a victory.  Fortunately, the eclair pig out didn't show up on the scale this morning-- down 2 more pounds for a total of 7.2 pounds in 5 days!  I had an overall sense of serene calm that lasted until, well, the hunger kicked in.  More on that in a sec.

I had such a productive day yesterday, that I was actually left with very little work today, so I spent the morning browsing a bunch of websites dedicated to food allergies.  I've mentioned this before, but to catch up anyone new, ever since getting off my medications (Wellbutrin and Adderall), I have developed some random and bizarre allergies/bad reactions to certain foods, including: gluten/wheat, shellfish, pork and some dairy.  I have never had an allergy in my life.  It's weird.  And, it's totally counter-intuitive for Mistress of Many Menus--- I consider myself a Chef, for Pete's sake!  

So, now that I'm cleansing, it will be the perfect time to do an allergy elimination test when I'm done with fasting.  The idea is to spend a month with a diet that is free of gluten/wheat, corn, dairy, soy, eggs and caffeine (I'm deliberately not mentioning alcohol, but that's ideal to cut out too!)  Then, after 3-4 weeks, add each item back to my diet one at a time and see how my body reacts.  I've gotten used to not having gluten/wheat, but giving up corn, dairy and eggs will be tough for me.  I've been substituting corn starch for white flour in certain dishes and have been eating corn tortillas as a gluten-free alternative, but maybe I'm just causing more problems for myself.  Eggs made me violently ill twice in the last couple months, so they may very well be an issue for me, despite my love of omelets and hard boiled eggs.

I came across this website called My Real Food Life and was having Food-Gasms at my desk.  I mean, homemade corn chips without the cornmolasses gingersnap cookiesgluten-free/vegan chocolate ganache cupcakes.... and everything is soy, dairy, egg, corn and gluten free!    

 Molasses Gingersnap Cookies
 Chocolate Ganache Cupcake
Corn Chips without the Corn

Perhaps it was looking at pictures like this that caused my pervasive hunger all day.  Even during my worst detoxing days (Day 2 & Day 3) I wasn't this hungry.  And it's the kind of hunger that pushes out from under your sternum-- not a little tummy rumbling-- the seriously, I'm effing hungry, where is my sustenance kind of hunger.  I don't think I added enough Grade B maple syrup to my lemonade mix today-- and watering it down the way I have I think has depleted too many calories.

I didn't do the Salt Water Flush the last two days because by the time I got around to it, it was 9pm and I was so exhausted, I didn't want to wait an hour for it to take effect...That's the other great thing about cutting the caffeine-- I've been falling asleep faster and staying asleep longer.  The laxative tea has been working, but I will attempt the flush again tonight.  It's just gnarly and I don't like it.  Plus, the salt makes me puffy in the morning.  Depending on how I feel, I may just start taking 2 laxative teas and forego the SWF altogether.  (That is technically allowed on the cleanse).  Psyllium Husk is supposedly another laxative option, but I haven't experimented with that on this cleanse.

The other thing I'm adding into the rotation starting tomorrow are Wheat Grass pills which helped curb my hunger a great deal on my last successful cleanse.  A Master Cleanse expert, Raylen Sterling, who published a book called Master Cleanse Secrets, swears by Wheat Grass pills on the cleanse, because they provide a much needed (and much lacking) protein source.

My only exercise has been walking the dogs-- and that has felt taxing.  I'm definitely still detoxing-- my face broke out in little bumps today-- not like pimples or hives, but what looks like a mild rash.  It's not itchy, but it's noticeable.  My tongue, though, is starting to lose that gross white film which covered it a couple days ago, and that is definitely a sign that I am successfully "cleaning" out my system!

On to Day 6!

xxoo

4 comments:

  1. Chocolate covered ants, huh? WOW. That's gotta be the weirdest protein craving I've ever heard of, LOL! What's in store for tonight, you think? Jelly doughnuts crawling with caterpillars? Gawd, I hope not! Also hope you get your lemonade chemistry better suited to your caloric needs. That level of hunger you had today sounds awful! Too many days of that and you're gonna go Hannibal Lector on someone's a**! Now THAT would be a crazy dream! Zombie Parker, LOL. Hubby wants to start our cleanse on Sunday (a day earlier than the original plan) so that he doesn't have to start it on a work day. I can't really argue with that. So only one more day of solids for us. We're gonna have lunch at Whole Foods tomorrow, I think (which I am going to savor!), and probably green smoothies for dinner just to start backing off on the digestion. I'm getting nervous, I'm not gonna lie! So glad you are here for support :) Over halfway there, girlfriend! You rock!
    xoxo

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  2. I'm baaaaack! Giggle. While your allergy free pics in this post are quite tempting, I just checked out Three Chicks and a Cow, and frankly my dear, those bon-bons kicked the UDDER sh*t out of that chocolate ganache cupcake! I had multiple food gasms! And if you're The Cow, you're probably gonna see me grazing in your pasture, because I wanted to punch myself in the boob over dark chocolate covered pecan pie. (I wish I had come up with punch myself in the boob, but it's not mine. Imma use it whenever I have the opportunity, though, cuz I <3 it!) Do you guys ship to Hawaii, because I will totally be placing an order if you do. After the cleanse of course. Boo. Pout. On the other hand, this could be a blessing in disguise. I'm pretty sure that if I had already tasted this bon-bon business, my hallucinatory binging dreams would involve me doing dirty, dirty things to a cow. And I don't know if I could ever sleep AGAIN if I did have that dream. Just thinking about it makes me want to Chlorox wipe my eyeballs.

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  3. And finally, my husband just read my comment, and he was snickering about all the sexual innuendo in this last post... some that I had NOT intended, LOL. I swear that "grazing in your pasture" was not a euphemism in ANY way. And "dirty, dirty things to a cow" meant an ACTUAL cow, not your bon-bon persona! LMFAO. His mind is even further in the gutter than mine. Which is part of why I married him. I actually don't know how I didn't pick up on this on my own? Must have been because I was innocent! Haha.

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    1. Oh my god. I LOVE the innuendos! And no, I didn't think that at first, but Chick on Cow action could be pretty hot. Just sayin'.

      Shipping to Hawaii would probably cost you more than the damn bonbons! I'll have to check-- we've never sent an order that far! ( ; But no joke, the pecan pie dipped in dark chocolate is MAJAH DELISH. So excited you and your hubby are starting your cleanse together tomorrow--- it's so much easier when you have someone to do it with you.

      I mentioned this on my blog tonight, but JP accused me of EYE F***ING his food tonight-- I was like, um, yes, actually, I am. Just take a bite of that chicken, lick that skin for me, that's how I like it, baby! Live Food Porn at its best.

      So happy to be hitting the Day 7 mark tomorrow....

      Sweet Dreams!

      xxoo

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