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| Scattered, Smothered, Covered and CHUNKED. Just like me. |
But I have been....
Scattered: Tons of stressful deadlines recently that I have under control, but my scatter brain has been even more scattered, making it tough to concentrate and get shit done.
Smothered: By my own negativity and self-doubt...I feel like as soon as things start going well for me, I end up sabotaging myself. WHY?!? I want so much to make things happen in a productive and fabulous way--- for me, for my career and for my personal and professional fulfillment. So let's DO this, Parker!
Covered: In hives.....and more hives. My new nickname is "Scratchy McBumpy." I have developed some very serious food allergies since getting off all my medication and this is what happened when I had gluten this week, in the form of a cookie and some bread:
And this is what happened when I had peanut butter:
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| Mistress of Many Rashes |
WTF?!
Badmuthafucka is convinced the breakouts are stress related. He could be right. I have an appointment for a full battery of allergy testing on September 10th, so hopefully I'll figure out what's going on.
And lastly, I have been further CHUNKED. In the form of an additional 5 pounds. I'm not even going to utter that number. You do the math from my last post and you'll know why I'm freaking out. I actually took a pregnancy test yesterday, thinking that MUST be why I've put on more weight. Negative. (Which is a good thing right now!)
It's times like this when I really don't get ME. I am the same crazy bee-atch who abstained from all food for 17 days and subsisted on lemons, water and laxative tea. And that girl can't be moderate and simply EAT CLEAN and EXERCISE like a normal person?! There has to something I'm missing. And yes, I'm being hard on myself because there are simply NO MORE EXCUSES. My inner fat girl is screaming at me and I'm shoveling Boursin cheese stuffed salami in my mouth!!!!
Seriously, folks. It's time for some action.
I've been pretty good about my workouts--- almost done with level 3 of Meta. (OK, well, it's taken me 2 1/2 weeks to get through 10 days...) I've also been much better about waking up to get my MS and 30 minutes of cardio finished before work. But there's a disconnect somewhere, because my results (and the scale) are moving in the wrong direction. MAJAH problem.
So what now? Muffy and Gutty are urging me to throw in the towel and just resign myself to join them and be known as "Chubby"....Can't ya just see the three of us-- Muffy, Gutty and Chubby on a road trip to the Kingdom of Pudge. "That's how we ROLL," would be our favorite saying!
Gross.
I can't fit into any of my clothes, so I went to Goodwill yesterday and bought a double digit size (let's just say it wasn't a 4, 6, or 8) so I could have something comfortable to wear. I figure, paying $3.75 for some fat pants certainly won't commit me to that size-- and in a few weeks, when the single digit clothes fit me again, I can recycle those big ass pants back to Goodwill. Everyone shopping there yesterday had about 100 pounds on me, so it wasn't as mortifying as it might have been, had I been shopping at Nordstrom's next to some anorexic soccer Mom.
I know some of you are rolling your eyes, thinking, "OMG. She's shopping at Goodwill?! That's for poor people! And aren't those clothes dirty and used???" Well, girls, they are all of the above. But, when things got really bad for us financially, Goodwill was awesome for cheap (and often cute!) clothes. Go to a Goodwill in an affluent neighborhood, and you'll find insanely expensive labels-- and some clothes that have never been worn. I've discovered Gucci, Prada, Guess, Lilly Pulitzer, and even Chanel at some of these thrift stores! They are also great for finding gently used kitchen wares, like sets of china and cool wine glasses. I even found a new juicer that I bought for $15 that retails at $70! Goodwill is also where I bought my rebounder-- for $22! If you haven't checked out a Goodwill before-- do it! One woman's trash is another woman's treasure....Just sayin'!
So, anyhoo-- it's time to get serious, Mistress of Many Promises, here....I don't have time to blog every day about a 30 Day Challenge right now, so let it be known that I am committing to giving up booze for 2 full weeks. I love drinking wine while I'm cooking, but it's gotta go, if I'm going to make any traction here with weight loss. Whenever I've gone without it in the past, after a few days, I forget aboutthe great buzz the empty calories and it always leans me out! I'm also giving up my beloved morning joe with Irish creamer and sugar. Not sure I can stomach it black, but I'm going to try.
I have another huge TV opportunity coming up (more details later!) and I have to get my ass in check-- literally....
I posted this pic of me on FB while doing a sound check for my radio piece. Thank the LAWD the weight gain doesn't show in my face....But consider this the official proof of my promise to KISS Miss Muffin Top and Gutty McFatty goodbye, FOREVAH!!!!
xxoo
It's times like this when I really don't get ME. I am the same crazy bee-atch who abstained from all food for 17 days and subsisted on lemons, water and laxative tea. And that girl can't be moderate and simply EAT CLEAN and EXERCISE like a normal person?! There has to something I'm missing. And yes, I'm being hard on myself because there are simply NO MORE EXCUSES. My inner fat girl is screaming at me and I'm shoveling Boursin cheese stuffed salami in my mouth!!!!
Seriously, folks. It's time for some action.
I've been pretty good about my workouts--- almost done with level 3 of Meta. (OK, well, it's taken me 2 1/2 weeks to get through 10 days...) I've also been much better about waking up to get my MS and 30 minutes of cardio finished before work. But there's a disconnect somewhere, because my results (and the scale) are moving in the wrong direction. MAJAH problem.
So what now? Muffy and Gutty are urging me to throw in the towel and just resign myself to join them and be known as "Chubby"....Can't ya just see the three of us-- Muffy, Gutty and Chubby on a road trip to the Kingdom of Pudge. "That's how we ROLL," would be our favorite saying!
Gross.
I can't fit into any of my clothes, so I went to Goodwill yesterday and bought a double digit size (let's just say it wasn't a 4, 6, or 8) so I could have something comfortable to wear. I figure, paying $3.75 for some fat pants certainly won't commit me to that size-- and in a few weeks, when the single digit clothes fit me again, I can recycle those big ass pants back to Goodwill. Everyone shopping there yesterday had about 100 pounds on me, so it wasn't as mortifying as it might have been, had I been shopping at Nordstrom's next to some anorexic soccer Mom.
I know some of you are rolling your eyes, thinking, "OMG. She's shopping at Goodwill?! That's for poor people! And aren't those clothes dirty and used???" Well, girls, they are all of the above. But, when things got really bad for us financially, Goodwill was awesome for cheap (and often cute!) clothes. Go to a Goodwill in an affluent neighborhood, and you'll find insanely expensive labels-- and some clothes that have never been worn. I've discovered Gucci, Prada, Guess, Lilly Pulitzer, and even Chanel at some of these thrift stores! They are also great for finding gently used kitchen wares, like sets of china and cool wine glasses. I even found a new juicer that I bought for $15 that retails at $70! Goodwill is also where I bought my rebounder-- for $22! If you haven't checked out a Goodwill before-- do it! One woman's trash is another woman's treasure....Just sayin'!
So, anyhoo-- it's time to get serious, Mistress of Many Promises, here....I don't have time to blog every day about a 30 Day Challenge right now, so let it be known that I am committing to giving up booze for 2 full weeks. I love drinking wine while I'm cooking, but it's gotta go, if I'm going to make any traction here with weight loss. Whenever I've gone without it in the past, after a few days, I forget about
I have another huge TV opportunity coming up (more details later!) and I have to get my ass in check-- literally....
I posted this pic of me on FB while doing a sound check for my radio piece. Thank the LAWD the weight gain doesn't show in my face....But consider this the official proof of my promise to KISS Miss Muffin Top and Gutty McFatty goodbye, FOREVAH!!!!
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| Kiss Off Muffy and Gutty! And don't come back, ya'll hear?! |
xxoo
Parker, you are done with dieting sister. You are an all or nothing girl, that's why you can go for 17 days on just water and it's why you gobble up all the goodies on the other end. I feel your pain. I know you love to cook and you are a very healthy cook already but I want to encourage you to check out my girl Janice's new book - East Tasty Clean and track your protein intake. My sister swore by protein to lose her gut at 44 after 3 kids and Janice does too - so I've given it a go and it seems to be working without actually dieting. Hang in there girl, you'll find your way. Her book is at easytastyclean.com.
ReplyDeletebig hugs.
You read my mind, Shan. After posting, I logged onto your blog and read all about Janice and her cookbook! I'm def going to check it out and her recipes look DELISH! Hugs back, my dear! xxoo
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are having such challenges, sweetie! I'm glad you've got the allergy appointment booked. Worrying about allergies can't be helping your stress levels. You will beat this, just as you've overcome so many challenges in your life. Remember that no matter what your inner haters are telling you, you are gorgeous inside and out! Love you!!!
ReplyDeleteUGH, thanks, Jess...Yeah, I'm probably giving myself more of a rash with my "rash of worries!!"
DeleteThank you for your sweet words my dear.....xxoo