Monday, March 26, 2012

Diagnosis: Obese & Eggs on Ice

Lovelies~

I've been so swamped this week, I haven't even had a chance to update what turned out to be one of the worst weeks the Mistress has had in recent months....UGH.

I went to my new Ob-Gyn to get a check on the large ovarian cyst I was diagnosed with last fall. At that October check up, I was told that I would most likely not only need surgery, but would need my entire left ovary removed. I had been in a great deal of pain and was very nervous about needing surgery-- again...I had cysts 10 years ago and had laparoscopic surgery to have them removed.

So, first I got the good news: The cyst had shrunk and I won't need surgery. Yay!

Then we started talking about fertility.

I'm turning 37 this June and the Doc had me take a blood test to determine my FSH levels-- it's a test to find out if I have "diminished ovarian reserve." Basically, to figure out if my eggs are drying up. The doctor said, "Even if your levels are normal, I'd suggest freezing your eggs if you're not planning on getting pregnant right away. 36 year old eggs are a lot better than 40 year old eggs." True, but I was a little startled by the suggestion--- freezing eggs is expensive and seems sort of dramatic.

Then again, I have a friend who is 39 and pregnant who told me last week, "START NOW! It took me 3 years to conceive!!! Don't think you can just snap your fingers and get pregnant when you want!"

JP and I have been talking a lot about babies lately-- specifically, about securing a financial future for ourselves so that's possible. I mean, we both have regular money coming in now, but it's far from a "financially secure" situation.

My eggs are probably getting old and I need to put them in the freezer. It's a troubling thought.

But I'm burying the lead.

The nurse put me on the dreaded Doctor's Office Scale. Let me preface this by saying that I: 1)was fully clothed 2) had a belly full of coffee and breakfast and 3) hadn't pooped. Sorry if that's TMI!

The scale read 176 pounds. MY PRE-BOOTCAMP WEIGHT!!!! WTF??!!!

But that's not even the worst of it. Dr. Feel Good says, "Parker I see you've put on 15 pounds since your last visit in October."

He gets on his laptop, starts typing numbers in and says, "Well, at 5'11 and 176 pounds, that puts your BMI at 33. That puts you in the Obese category."

I'm sorry, did he just say, OBESE?????

I mean, some over-indulging in wine and cheese may have tipped the scales a bit, but OBESE? ME????

To his credit, he said, "Well, you don't look obese."

And then, in his esteemed medical opinion voice, he tutted: "A healthy weight for you would be about 145. I think you should lose 30 pounds."

Then, to add insult to injury, he said that trying the controversial HCG Diet would be a good option for me. (That's when you inject yourself with a pregnancy hormone and starve yourself for a month eat 500 calories a day for a month.) "Give it a try and email me what your results are!"

Awesome.

I burst into tears as I was leaving. It was just too much to handle. I tried to wrap my head around the bottom line: I'm obese with old eggs. More tears.

I sat down at my computer at work and pulled up a BMI calculator. Here's what it told me:
24.5 NOT 33!!! I would actually have to weigh 240 pounds at my height to have a BMI of 33. What kind of calculations did this doctor do? I was furious. And very relieved.

I have a serious problem with this doctor's approach--- from giving me false information to suggesting a dangerous diet. Had this been 5 years ago, it could have catapulted me into a dangerous tail-spin into eating disordered behavior. Fortunately, I'm stronger than that now and will not be going down that road. But it could have been a horrible trigger for me.

Crappy doctor aside, my weight is on my mind. What started as a plateau has definitely turned into a slide in the wrong direction. I'm really struggling with the best way to proceed. Both The Plan and Chrono-nutrition backfired on me. I'm working out for between 45-90 minutes a day 6x/week and I would have expected far different results by now!

That leads me to believe that I'm eating the wrong things, drinking the wrong things and simply going about my diet in the wrong way. Flirting with one diet and trying another one, but not sticking to anything is not going to get me to my goal weight.

Here are what I believe are my biggest culprits:

1. Coffee with fattening creamer in the morning. I drink International Delight's Irish Cream and it's way more calorie/fat laden than I thought. I Tb is 35 calories!!! (And the Mistress likes her coffee light and sweet....that's a lot of 1 Tb's!)

2. Wine with dinner. Most nights.

3. Portion Control at Dinner. Despite a pretty moderate breakfast and lunch, my last meal of the day can border on a binge-- often with second helpings. This is the penalty for being such a good cook!!

MUST. GET. CONTROL.

I also suspect that the medications I was on and weened myself off of have resulted in a sluggish metabolism and perhaps an under active thyroid.

I am not a "power bar and shake" kind of girl. Yeah, I can do an occasional Think Thin bar for breakfast. I even tried one for lunch last week, as Tracy's Dynamic Eating Plan prescribes, but I was starving all afternoon! I think they taste "fake" and they just do not satisfy me.

My gut feeling is that I simply have to go back to basics: Lean protein. Veggies. Fruit. Fewer carbs. Cut out the alcohol. Burn more calories than I'm taking in. It's not brain surgery. But damn, it's hard.

Here's where I am on this.....I'm not willing to live on steamed chicken and broccoli. It's not realistic. It's not me. But I'm also not going to accept 170+ pounds. I'm just not. Losing 30 pounds? Prolly not gonna happen. But maybe 20? I don't like thinking about numbers at all, but I've got to keep myself in check, here.

Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

xxoo
















12 comments:

  1. Don't get my crank started. Hup...it just did. First of all, I am not a fan of male OBs. I had a really, really good one long ago but the ones I dealt with once I went over 30 were just asinine. Until you have your legs spread in stirrups and someone is swiping a metal instrument inside you, please don't talk from on high. I realize they need to disperse information, but it sounds so flippant coming from a man.

    Yes, babies cost money, but I don't think you ever can fully prepare for it. People gift you with so many clothes and it took awhile before we bought our first container of formula. Thank you breastfeeding + pediatrician full size samples! I think the biggest cost can be daycare. People of all income brackets have babies all the time. We can talk more about that later.

    The egg freezing. I don't know what I would do in your case. If anything, I'd probably just try to have the baby than do the egg freezing. You need to prepare your body for conception, imo, and by the time you do that you may as well just try to have a baby. I don't know what's involved w/egg freezing but if you have to take hormones and stuff, again...it's doing a lot when you might just want to jump in the deep in. You would be really, really lucky and probably cursing me if you got pregnant right away, but still...really lucky. Despite what we were told in sex ed class, it is not easy to get pregnant. And regardless of the sex of your ob, the egg quality is just a fact. Not all eggs are optimal at any age. Young women sometimes have "bad" eggs in the mix with good ones. You just have odds of having better quality eggs when you're younger. Same for sperm.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crap! I lost my part 2. I started a new comment because there's a character limit. Anyway, consider switching to vanilla almond milk. I am a Coffee Mate creamer person and it's hard to cut out. I decided to cut down, instead. And sometimes do the almond milk. One whole cup has 60 calories, so the tbsp caloric count must be low. Cut out alcohol, period. I cut out alcohol before we started and it was easier than I expected. I had maybe 2-3 drinks/year and only one at a time. If we went to a special event I might have one, but usually I abstained. So when we had our loss, I didn't feel guilty because I knew I had done what I could prior to trying. Alcohol is aging, no matter what they say about it being healthy for the heart. Try drinking the apple cider vinegar in the afternoon. That might help your portion control. It's also an inflammation reducer, so it should help in all areas of your body. Watch your dairy. Eating cheese just to eat it, i.e. w/wine is not good. Dairy can be a challenge to process and mix that in there w/wine and you're taxing your liver. If you do drink milk & eat cheese, it should be hormone free. That was just something I chose to cut out and I felt better for it, physically.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And finally...as I hog your thread. lol You cannot increase the quantity of your eggs, but you can increase the quality. Herbs. I don't even bother discussing things like that w/my Western doctors. They're all about pharmaceuticals. I found a lot of information on it herbs online & in a couple books. It takes at least 3 months for herbs to work, so I've been taking them just in case we try for #2. I will already be ready. Here are some links:

    Fertility Community - The IVF ladies have tried EVERYTHING. I don't know 85% of their abbreviations, but I glean what I can. I researched each herb. The ones that had conflicting information, i.e. Dong Quai, I avoid.
    Fertility Community - Info is buried in here, but look for one woman's regimen, incl wheat grass & something about Royal Jelly.
    Fertility Community - More info
    In-Gender
    Mothering
    Yahoo Answers - I know, Yahoo Answers...but this is a good one.

    This is an epic response, but hoping it will help others. I felt pretty dismal and fearful at times, esp w/fibroids in the mix. It's so nice to feel like you have some sort of control. At least *try* things and not rely on a diagnosis premature or otherwise.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gigi-- FABULOUS advice....Thank you!

    I am totally having baby lust! I will check out the fertility communities. I'd like to do just that-- get my body ready for a baby in the healthiest way possible.

    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Parker my advice is to a pick a diet that you read and makes SENSE. For me a diet saying "hey don't eat fruit because it has carbs in!!!" or "artificial sugars are cool!!" just doesn't add up. Right now I'm doing the SASS yourself slim diet by Cynthia Sass. You can check it out on Amazon... but pretty much for me I'd say the crazier it is, the less likely you'll get real results that will last. You're right in that the simple diets work the best! Like your approach!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ohhh and on the wine, sad but true, but I've heard over and over again that wine is a metabolism killer :( I'm a wine lover myself but I'm trying to go 30 days with no booze! Club sodaa with lime all around!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FnF-- Yeah, the booze is a belt buster every time! I love club soda, so will have to start doing that for my dinner time "cocktail"! I will def check out the SASS yourself Slim diet-- I have to find something realistic and stick with it!

      xxoo

      Delete
  7. Hi Parker,
    first you should pick a new doctor - why is he a jerk. Obviously everyone can see from your pictures that your BMI is much lower than he said. He should have recalculated - because its plain dangerous to tell someone such bulls...! My first gynecologist - she was a bitch - Had my very first exam and she didn't do the intro-interview - no she just put me on the chair and said spread your legs and relax ... let me tell you ... hurt like hell hours afterwards. Immediately changed and found my beloved doctor, who is the only doctor ever to see me naked and is allowed to exam me! A BMI about 24 is fine - really.
    Second, yeah its true the older we get the more difficult it becomes for us to get pregnant ... thats a fact, but living the healthy live it should help to decrease the difficulty level. (just a hint bulimic or anorexic girls do not get pregnant, its physically not possible as their periods will not come and the body will not produce valid eggs. - so I've read). Stressing out about getting pregnant is not helping women either to get pregnant - if it is supposed to happen - it will happen!
    Third, a glass of wine shouldn't be a problem. For me a glass or more of red wine is the worst ever as the histamine is making me sick. I am staying with white wine or rosé. :-) Its like with everything - the mass counts.
    You are a healthy woman - don't forget that! Your cyst is getting smaller and you do not have any other illness - so be happy about it and don't stress out about the diet! I hate the word "diet" its only another word for starving. Eat what you like with portion control and food that makes you feel full and leave out junk.
    You are doing your workout religiously which is awesome. Please don't be too obsessed - its not good! You are looking fabulous!!! Don't ever forget that!!!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Nina! I am not going to let myself stress about all of this.... We aren't trying to get pregnant yet, but I am interested to see what the fertility test reveals. More information can only be a good thing!

      Delete
  8. Imo, people who tell others to just relax and it will happen have either never tried getting pregnant or got pregnant quickly or with minimal issues. I used to say the same thing. I'm all for relaxation, meditation, visualization and faith, but none of those removed the fibroid that was sitting in the middle of my uterus, preventing conception.
    We know women have gotten pregnant for thousands of years and it's a natural thing. True, but there are so many unnatural things about the way we live these days that have affected fertility. If relaxation was the key, there would be little to no need for ivf. Saying if “it's meant to be, it will happen” implies that it’s not in the cards for those who haven't gotten pregnant. I realize it’s just a saying, but it’s very unkind to those that have struggled w/fertility.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gigi-- really good perspective for those of us who may not even realize we are being insensitive with those kinds of common statements. Is it a cliche to be reminded of the couple who adopts bc the don't think they can conceive, then as soon as the adoption goes through, bam, the woman gets pregnant? I feel like there are a ton of those success stories! Atleast it's a positive cliche!

      Delete
    2. Yes, it's an awesome cliche. I've heard it lots and also heard of adoptive parents who didn't get the natural baby. For those that had one, it could be that they were in the middle of lifestyle changes to boost fertility that they kicked in...and it just so happened to be after the adoption. Will talk to you more about lifestyle things. You may be surprised. :)

      Delete