The Glass is Half Empty....And so is my Wine Bottle

...Actually, the wine bottle is totally empty.  Along with my hopes of getting down to my goal weight and transforming into my teeniest, tiniest self via Tracy Anderson's Dance Cardio and Metamorphosis workouts. 

It's been the worst week I've had in a long time, lovelies.  And I mean, baaaaaaaaad.  Pour me another (or third) glass of wine and hand me a Vicodin kinda bad. 

Minutes after leaving work last Wednesday for the Thanksgiving holiday, I was at a complete stop on the highway in traffic, when a truck-- towing another truck-- came barreling into me from behind.  My car was totaled and my left knee got majorly effed up.  The ER doc told me to make an appointment with an orthopedist ASAP.  I was expecting the diagnosis of a torn ACL which surgery can fix pretty quickly.  But it's worse....

I have articular cartilage damage under my kneecap from the impact.  Surgery very rarely can repair cartilage and the body does not regenerate new cartilage or heal old cartilage easily.  "A lifetime of pain" is how the ortho explained it.  Awesome.

I am absolutely beside myself...I've cried. I've cursed the universe. Then I cried more when I had to pull out my Size 12 pants this week.  New meaning to putting on my "big girl" pants to deal.  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I had been making such great progress with my weight loss and my workouts!  I did my dance cardio and Meta religously on my vacae and didn't make a complete pig of myself daily, despite the utter insanity of delish that found it's way onto my plate EVERY night. 

Right now, my anxiety is through the fucking roof--  a week and counting of no workouts, not to mention extreme discomfort, waking up every hour on the hour and hobbling around the TV station in a big ass knee brace with crutches...and, well, a BIG ASS.

I know I'm sounding like a Drama Queen, but the Mistress of Mishaps is having a moment.  Forgive me.

Thank you to all of my friends-- real and online-- who have reached out with positivity and advice and good energy.  Keep it coming.  I need all I can get! Despite my Negative Nancy rant above, I truly refuse to let myself wallow in a carb and wine induced pit of despair.  The only thing that did for me this week was pack on 6 pounds.  (Thus, the size 12 pants.)  SOOOOOOOO......here's my plan for now.  LAWD....

I'm already working with an excellent attorney who expects a sizeable settlement in my near future.  Although I would give every cent of that big check to just have my knee working normally again. 

Usually swimming is a good option for injuries like this-- but the articular cartilage damage is under my kneecap, which is actually aggravated by the kicking motion of swimming, so that's out.  Fortunately, Bikram Yoga is apparently great for this type of injury.  The founder of Bikram Yoga, Bikram Choudhury, healed a debilitating knee injury with regular practice, which makes me feel encouraged.

Long before I discovered TAM, I practiced Bikram and loved it.  I gave it up when I found Miss Anderson, but have missed it the last few years, so perhaps this will be a positive thing, returning to the hot box! (For those of you who don't know, Bikram is the most popular form of hot yoga-- practiced in a room that's around 105 degrees for 90 minutes.  Sweating your ass off is an understatement.)

As far as diet, well, I've been rather unmotivated in the kitchen, as you can imagine.  Badmuthafucka has taken it upon himself to help me out, bless his heart.  I sent him to the grocery store to pick something up that he can prepare without my help and he came back with wine, blue cheese, mushrooms, onions and rib eye steaks.  "It's the only thing I can cook, baby."  It was divine.

Now that I'm getting zero calorie burn from exercise, I have to be vigilant about eating clean.  I'm making green smoothies daily and trying not to snack.  I know I need to give the wine up again, but it's been the one thing that has relaxed me at the end of painful, uncomfortable days at work.  Thank God they're only shooting my on-camera work from the waist up!  (Hides the leg brace and the ass-- BONUS!)

I know I've promised you all recipes, and I WILL post them soon....
In the meantime, Mistress of Misery, here, *sniff, sniff* is only too happy to receive your love and affection....(or a gift basket with wine and cheese would be fine. The glass is half empty?  The glass is half full?  Whatev.  Just pour me another glass. Oh wait, that's not helping with the ass factor.  Nevermind.)

Love,

The Mistress

xxoo